Because I Have Five Minutes

Five Things You Should Know About Me

1) I bite my nails when I'm nervous or worried about something. I used to bite my nails all the time, but I got fake nails put on my junior year of high school and once I stopped wearing them I managed to stop biting my nails. Of course, I frequently have my fingers in my mouth but it's only when I am actively ripping my nails to shreds that I am seriously concerned.

2) I must shower everyday. Unless my hair is straighten, then maybe I can push it a day and a half. I just can't function if I've not showered, I feel dirty and it distracts me.

3)I don't really know how to dress myself. It's not like I wear mis-matched clothing or ugly clothes, it's more of a fitting issue. I pick out ill-fitting clothes.

4)I'm not very good with New Year's Resolutions, but I like to give stuff up at Lent. I am also not Catholic. I just like being able to control myself to refrain from doing something. Like when I gave up caffeine and pop in high school. To this day, I'd rather have club soda with lime than a Pepsi. (None of the Coke nonsense)

5) I could live off of flat bread, hummus, and brie. And Smart Water.

Hello Snow! I Didn't Have Any Time To Miss You.

Last week, when the Epic Storm hit us, my house got a foot of snow and Canon got none. We seem to be making up for that now. Damn. I hate cleaning snow off my car in the mornings. Especially when I still don't have a snow scraper. Where the hell is that!

I'm also wearing very snow inappropriate shoes even though it was snowing when I left for work. Nor am I wearing any hose. My brain is still in sleep mode, we are catching up.

I'm still on my antibiotics and I hate them. I've never been on this version before, the generic for Biaxin. It doesn't hurt my stomach as much as the kind I had before but it makes my mouth have the most awful taste. I want to constantly brush my teeth. Although, I might have discovered last night that drinking a ton of water makes it go away. Gum does not.

The power keeps flickering here so I keep losing my post. There is talk downstairs of closing early, as the snow is beginning to stick.

There was a little girl here at work all day yesterday. She told me it was because the place they were staying wasn't open until 4 PM, which means she is staying at the shelter here in town. This made me sad that her parents would spend the entire day here at the library. There are a lot of people who do that, lots of them are internet users who spend as many hours as possible on our computers. That's also sad, because they obviously don't have jobs and they are usually trolling sites in search of someone. I personally would not want anyone to know I looked at such sites, much less do it on a public computer with 10 other people around you. And it's one thing for an adult to be here all day, but to subject your child to that seems wrong. I know they might not have many other options, but still.

I'm Sorry.

Not that there is anyone to really apologize to, but whatever. I know that Annushka is obsessed with her Gmail Group and that Duncan Donuts has some sort of law school paper due, so they aren't posting either.

One reason I haven't posted, besides laziness, is that I have been sick. My tonsils are quite large and my head hurt for two days. I went to a walk in clinic today and the "Doctor" gave me a prescription for antibiotics and steroids because I "have strep, and we could do a throat culture but that's just an extra cost and you have strep." Never mind that the last four strep tests I've done this past year have come back negative, I must have strep! In retrospect, I should have made him give me a strep test, so that I could know for sure instead of just going on his advice or blatantly disagreeing with him. Perhaps I'm a little jaded after three other times I've been on antibiotics this year with no known reason why. It's kind of ironic how sick I've been since returning home from college. Maybe dorms don't breed disease like they say. Unless that disease is sluttyness and, man A LOT of us caught that one!

I cannot tell you how much I hate being on antibiotics. I don't like that they interfere with BC pills, or they awful way they make my mouth taste metallic, and how on day 5 they make my stomach hurt because they have killed all the good bacteria. I'm also on Prednisone, something I've never taken before. (I really should not have googled Prednisone, bad bad plan.) I think I'm on the Prednisone to reduce the swelling of my tonsils and to give me energy in the morning. Also, I think this clinic Dr. is a tad bit crazy. Maybe just pill happy! Obviously, I am not the pill happy type girl. I don't even like taking over the counter meds anymore. Except for my dear, sweet Excedrin. That shit is like gold and has saved me many a time.

I've been asked twice this week if there was any chance that I could be pregnant. Once by the guy who was doing my massage (Yo, I know ya'll dislike BB but he took me to the Spa at the Broadmoor on Sunday, and OMG it was fabulous)and then today by the Dr. as he gave me my prescription for steroids, except it was more of an afterthought, like "oh shit, what if she's pregnant and I kill her baby." Helllo malpractice lawsuit! Right, anyways. It's funny being asked if you are pregnant because men ask in such a wary tone, more of like they are asking if you are sexually active instead of carrying a child.

PS. It was sort of weird to have a massage by a guy, as I've only had women in the past. I don't know why, as it's not a sexual thing to get a massage but maybe it's because you are naked under a towel and in a dimly lit room with a man who keeps touching you!

On Dealing With The Public

Since I work two jobs, one at the library and one at the bar, I deal with the public all the time. And I'm dealing with them in a way that often makes me feel inferior to those patronizing the establishment.

For the most part, I find that people are generally respectful but there are always exceptions to that. Working at the library, I am often in the position of looking up information for someone who doesn't know so that means that they are very respectful and appreciative of what I am doing for them. Occasionally people will be irked that we don't have whatever obscure thing they are looking for and will be irritated that it's not available RIGHT THAT MINUTE. Other times, like tonight, I had a woman on the phone who insisted that she wasn't going to pay her fines because she calls every two weeks and renews them and she had it written down on her calendar that she did it two weeks ago. She kept saying that I had better take the fines off because she "wasn't going to pay them noway and that the Chinese lady usually helps her." It took all I had not to tell her that the correct thing to say would be "anyway" not "noway" and that the Chinese lady is actually Japanese, can't you tell the difference, you fucking moron? I'm actually not good with customer service in situation where the other person is treating me like I am in the wrong because I've programmed myself not to deal with other people's attitudes when they are the ones who messed up. This woman actually didn't renew her books two weeks ago like she said and I think she realized that at some point and was unwilling to take responsibility for that. So she chose to bully someone into doing what she wanted.

At the bar, I am working for tips and while my appearance has a lot to do with the money I get, I try to be friendly and not shut down when someone I don't know flirts with me. And by flirt, I mean touch, because I hate that! Only a few people have really bothered me with the touching, one guy who kissed my cheek once and has twice pulled me back with my apron strings, and another who likes to grab the pocket of my apron when he's really drunk. Other times people get really possessive of their drinks when I come by their table and give me comments about not touching them, in which case I stop going to their table for the night and they can go to the bar for a drink as I don't have to put up with attitude because I don't want your fucking tip. Or, most likely, I'm not getting a tip so it's a waste of my time.

I think sometimes I get a little frustrated with working in the public sector because I have a college degree. And I am smart and better than you. Because in this world I live in, smart and respectable people do not have to deal with angry, ignorant people lording over them.

I'll Make It Up To You, Baby. I Promise.

Obviously, I have forgotten I have a blog.

I will offer to tell you a story about anything you want though. Just ask!

I wore this shirt at the bar last night with some interesting results.

Rich thought it said "white boy" instead of "nice boy".
Ug told me that he needed to find my tree because he is the handsomest ugly fat man in the world.
And someone else said "Well, I guess I know why if I find myself under your tree."

I believe the long sleeve, not low cut Santa shirt got me more comments than any "cute" shirt I've wore.

Only Two Days And I Lost The Will

Oh man. This is why I can't take a break. I come back and am completely uninspired. Like, blog wha?

Nothing really happened this weekend except for the fact that I'm not sure there actually was a weekend and I was just extremely busy for two days. And by busy I mean I was shopping and watching movies. Because that's what I did.

Things I didn't do and probably should have:
Laundry (in my defense, I didn't really know I needed to do laundry on Saturday night when I had a little time because my clothes are spread out in multiple rooms and sometimes different houses. But now that I put it all together, it should have been done days ago.)
Decorate the Tree- We were going to do that before JBelle's nap, but then we had to go see Santa and his Reindeers (reindeers is JBelle's word) so the tree is still blank. Will be until probably Wednesday. At least is smells good.
Clean my car- Yesterday and the day before it smelled really awful, and today not so much. Will probably put it off again for another week.
Balance my checkbook- I don't even want to know. Especially now after the binge I was on yesterday. Did I really need another bra and a new fleece. No. Did I need the "Dear Santa" shirt and three Fresh Ink cards? No. Shut up.

I've decided that it's time for us to stop getting real trees and get a fake one. I hate fake ones. But I hate that these trees are grow and chopped down. I love how real ones smell and how they look, but I can't justify killing trees when half the forest in the mountains is being killed by some wierd beetle. Plant the Christmas trees, and bring on the fake ones!

I Hate Them!

I'm afraid of the little room in the basement where we keep the Christmas decorations at work. Mostly because I'm terrified that a cockroach is going to rush past me and completely freak me out like last time I was down there. Once, after the pesticide man came, there was a dying cockroach on the stairs in the common stairwell and I couldn't use the stairs for the entire day because it was just laying there and squirming when I walked past. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to move it because "holy shit that thing is alive and carries diseases!" And of course, no one else moved it.

I'd like to think I could handle the big ones that live in the south because they have to be less creepy and slower than these little ones that roam around here. Maybe it's because the basement is part of the original Carnegie library or because the Chinese restaurant next door lures them close with a full dumpster of left overs.

At Least I Never Ate Bananas With Ketchup

Like Duncan Donuts!

I know. I'm shocked too.

Anyways, we're doing a weird food likes or favorite combinations post because she finally got the hint that I wanted her to update. Like yesterday.

1) Peanut M&M's with Popcorn. It's the perfect mix of sweet and salty and crunchy. And yet I always feel weird when I'm in the movie theatre and I dump my bag of M&M's into the popcorn bowl.

2) Brussel Sprouts. Although, I'm learning I'm not alone in this.

3) Pizza with mushrooms and pineapple. I don't know how the started. Probably with me standing in line with my mom at Papa Murphy's, and being unable to decide if I want mushrooms or pineapple and demanding both at the same time.

4) Peanut butter and honey sandwiches with Doritos. I haven't had this in a long time, but I remember it being my favorite when I was a child. If this sounds normal, then you need to know I put the doritos inbetween the bread slices.

5) Syrup on bacon or sausage. I used to put it on eggs and hashbrowns too. But then I discovered toast and eggs and ketchup with hashbrowns. Although I still like syrup on the whites of fried eggs.

6) spoonfuls of peanut butter with chocolate chips. This started because we never had candy around but almost always chocolate chips for cookies.

7) Apples and Cheddar Cheese. Rather peasant/serf like, I know. Maybe they were afraid of bathing and thought leeches cured the common cold, but they had something going with that whole bread/apple/cheese thing.

I wanted to do ten items, but I can't think of any more weird things I like to eat.

Hi, It's December And I'm Still Posting Everyday.

I can't help it! Plus, I bet there are at least two people who check this everyday when they are 1) at the library 2) in their cubicle 3) when they should be doing other things.

So girls, it's all for you. Or "for ya" if I'm to speaking in JBelle-ese.

I insisted on wearing hose this morning because it's still chilly out and I am wearing my new Gap pencil skirt. With my Gap sweater and my cute navy heels. And I felt like hose was appropriate since the area where I park my car is covered in ice and no one should have bare legs when ice is surrounding one's vehicle. And I shaved my legs today so I Wanted to protect them from the cold. Unfortunately, the heels I wore do not go well with hose. It's almost impossible to keep the shoes on with hose and it makes my feet feel like they've been filed down to the first layer of skin. I thought maybe something was actually wrong with my feet until I took off my hose at lunch time because it was warmer then and I hate how knee highs show when you sit down. And my feet were happy again.

And I am happy because Walgreens sells thigh high hose so I can finally wear my garter that may or may not match my bra but it was a total accident! Walgreens also sells Cadbury chocolate with caramel and cranberry juice. Obviously I have very eclectic needs.

To The O-Hi-O I Go!

I found a plane ticket to Detroit yesterday for $198.60. (I fly into Detroit so Annushka can come get me from Toledo) So I immediately called her to say I've found a ticket for the end of January and this is great so I'm gonna buy it.

And she says "Ok, well I really can't tell you this is a good idea until I find out about getting into the program and I just don't know right now and I won't know ever."

So after that I freak out a little bit and maybe cry a little.

A few hours later, she calls me back and I say to her "Ok, you need to seriously consider me coming out at the end of January as it may be the last time in a while I can come see you if all my plans work out."

Annushka says, "Ok, my mom is watching a show right now and I will talk to her about it when it's over and call you at 8 to let you know what's going on."

At 7 PM, she calls me back and says "Ok, buy it." And then I give her a hard time for even thinking she needs to ask her parents because years ago, the first time I stayed with her and she left me there with her parents alone for a few days, they said I could come anytime even if she wasn't there and her mom would totally take me to the yarn store and the Italian grocery store.

So it was settled and I bought my ticket this morning, and shockingly it was still $198 on Frontier even though Southwest bumped theirs to $266, which really bites since my flight out of Detroit leaves at 6:30 AM. Bitches.

Some Random Thoughts In Random Order

Dear Frontier, Thank you for cheap airfare today.

I felt completely justified in sleeping all morning on Saturday because of the snow. I woke up once and thought "I should get up" before remembering that it's cold out there and I was very comfortable in bed.

Snow, please go away now.

New Shocks- You are incredible. All four of you.

Hunter has his winter coat in and it makes his fur really thick and grabbable. I'm glad he has lots of extra, saggy baggy skin to grab onto when he's trying to kiss me into submission for not being home earier. I'm sorry, laying in bed was too tempting. It's cold outside! Thus the extra fur.

The DaVinci Code is boring. The lead girl is a moron. Tom Hanks looks old.

Today is a Bad Face Day. Something is off today. I don't know if it's the hair cut, or I'm just pale. Or maybe it's because I don't like what I'm wearing and want to be in jeans and a sweater with my hair in a pony tail.

Christmas is three weeks away. The second week in January is right around the corner. I am not ready for this.

Freeze This!

Our pipes are frozen. Again. I don't think the case of beer in my car froze, but the pipes did. Perhaps we should have alcohol infused water to prevent such freezings. Or maybe if we had plumbers who actually knew how to re-pipe a house then things would not be on hold, as they are now.

And Then There Was This One Time A Terradactyl Swooped Out Of Nowhere And Grabbed Me!

I'm watching Jurassic Park III and I have to be quite honest with you. I love it. It can't top the first Jurassic Park, but it's certainly better than the joke that was Jurassic Park II. I mean, come on, there is no way that the T-Rex would have been able to escape and ravage the city of LA. Things like that just don't happen. But incredebly large dinosaurs on a secret island? Totally possible.

I love terrible movies like this, especially if the world is ending or cheerleaders are rising above all odds. Just the other night, I picked "John Tucker Must Die" at movie gallery while BB picked out something less mind numbing, like Superman. I could watch volcanoes exploding, bombs going off, asteroids threatening the world, and large waves that could cover the USA all damn day. Sure, I love my Academy Award Winner films and I've also got a thing for foreign films, but give me a crisis or some silly girls anyday! I can't even tell you how many times I've seen "Miss Congeniality" or "Dante's Peak". I also can't tell you how many times I've seen "Madagascar" but that's not my fault, I blame it all on JBelle and her need to hear "moove it, moove it!"

Not Even 5 And It's Dark. Damn.

Welcome to Winter.

It fucking sucks.

Bring back Summer. Or speed up to Spring.

Actually, I'd be ok with the darkness if it wasn't so freezing cold. I don't like bundling up for morning walks. Or scraping ice off my windshield.

Anyways, I'm about to go get my car and I'm hoping I can tell that my shocks are new.

Just Like Lady Godiva

Lee and I were researching Lady Godiva and whether or not she really rode naked through town. Apparently, one story claims that she may not have been naked, but instead removed all her jewelry. So I decided to remove my ring and claim that "I'm naked at work!"

Remember That Time I Went To DC And Was Homeless? This Isn't That Time.

The very first time I went to DC was with a school mission trip and we were supposed to be learning about the Powerful and the Powerless in the DC area. Mostly we went around to seminary schools who had no idea we weren't interested in that sort of thing and we spend a lot of time in a very hot homeless shelter doing nothing. I went again this March with Duncan Donuts and it was a million times more fun.

So, here's a little photo fun for ya.



We started the week of drinking with a little wine.



The Martini Bar that wasn't open the first night we were in DC. So we came back the next night. And then we did this:



Yes, that's a hooka and it has orange flavored tobacco in it.



She doesn't like the birds.



This bird is extinct.



We love the Metro. I want to live in DC for the Metro. Just like the L in Chicago. I wasn't allowed in the subway system in NYC because my mom's boss is a rich snob who thinks the subway is dirty and beneath him so we had a private limo. Maybe I love NYC for the private limo.



We got some calamari. It was good.



While DD and this boy, Travis?, Trevor?, were talking to each other in an extremely close fashion...



Eric and I took pictures of them and ourselves. Guess which photo contains the drunk people?



The last night we met up with my cousin for some clubbing in Adam's Morgan.



And this is the Marine I met. He never called but it's ok. I don't remember his name and the bar after this one is where I picked up my 21 year old 2 AM phone stalker. So, Thank You, Marine Man for never calling me. That's how it's supposed to be.

NaBloPoMo is over. But I'm in my blog groove now and so down with posting everyday. Or at least weekdays!

A Meme? What The Fuck?

Favorites meme stolen from Yummy

Lip gloss: The clear gloss by Mary Kay that smells like strawberries.
Jewelry: The diamond and pearls ring I got for graduation.
Shoes: My blue heels from Macy's.
Handbag: Right now- My brown bag by Tommy Hilfiger.
Car: BB's Mercedes. I miss it.
City: London. Although I'd like to go back now that I can do all the "adult" things I wasn't allowed to do in high school.
Restaurant: Walter's
Body Lotion: Peony by Bath and Body
Book: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.
Department Store: Macy's!
Department in the Department Store: Shoes!
Show: Grey's Anatomy.
Reality Show: Project Runway
Song: Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner by Fall Out Boy
Body part on you: My legs. Until we get close to my hips.
Drink: Mighty Leaf Mint Tea.
Perfume: Candies in the orange bottle, whatever that one is called.
Cheese: Brie. Always.
Ice Cream: Chocolate Almond from Schwans.
Mascara: Avon Astonishing Lengths
Hair Product: Rusk Wired
Nail Polish: OPI but I can't rememeber the name. Something light and shimmery pink.

Baby, It's Cold!

Today is the first day I've felt like listening to Christmas music. I think because there is snow on the ground and snow falling lightly from the sky, it finally feels like winter. But I'd like it to knock it off before tomorrow morning as I don't have time to mess around with snow on my car. This morning I scraped off the snow with a plastic lid to a Glad container since I'm not sure if I have an icescraper in my car. I think I do, but I haven't really looked. Not like I've needed it or anything. Since it is snowing, I did not drive the Jeep to work and I put off fixing my car until Friday. I could have escaped from having to clean the snow off my car but then I would have had to drive the Jeep home and it's snowing and 20 degrees! No thanks.

I cut my hair today. I cut a good three inches off. I had her straighten it, since I can never do it as well as she can, so I don't know how much I really chopped off. But I am tired of the way my hair looks when I put it up, the short layers are so far from the longest layer it looked funny. Plus, I love when she straightens it as I turn into a different person completely. Curls are my thing, so when my hair is straight I can't help but look at myself.

Yes, narcissistic. I know.

However, I can't be more narcissistic than Emma. Every morning, she spends at least fifteen minutes in front of the full length mirror outside the bathroom. Sometimes, she even looks at the mirror over her shoulder so she can get a view of her behind. How many Fox River Red Labradors do you know who do that kind of thing?

Oh, none?

Only 6. Yeah Right!

Ok, I'm tagging Duncan Donuts and Annushka to do this too.

List 6 Wierd Things About You:

1. I am almost incapable of answering my phone with a tone that isn't surprised. I have caller ID and photos on my screen, but I still say "hello" with trepidation. I have no idea why.

2. I like bruises. I like the way they change colors and fade. I bruise somewhat easily, and I don't mind at all.

3. I'm barefoot at my desk most of the day. Unless my shoes are strapped on, I take them off almost as soon as I sit down. I love dressing cute, but I hate wearing heels all day. And I hate hose even more.

4. I'm obsessively sentimental. I will actively avoid doing something that will erase what someone I care about touched or wore or did. For example, JBelle plays with these colored gels I have on my bathroom mirror every weekend. And even though it blurs my mirror up, I rarely clean the mirror.

5. I have three Swallowtail Butterfly cocoons in jars. Two at home, one at work.

6. I set my clocks 7 minutes fast. I know they are fast, so I continuously subtract 7 minutes from the time my clocks show. It really defeats the purpose of a fast clock.

Good Thing, Since I Can't Lift My Leg That High Today

I finally resigned myself to getting my car fixed. I hate that I put off the whole "You need new ball joints" advice until 26 days before Christmas, because JBelle really needs some new toys at our house. I'm also getting new shocks because I need them. I didn't realize how much I needed them until Thursday when I wanted to die every time I moved and my car just kept bouncing me around. Oh, and an oil change. But after the other two things, that's not such a big deal. Hey, I'm only 3,000 miles overdue!

BB's business will be taking care of all that tomorrow, which means I will be driving Ruby, the Jeep. And she is tall. So tall, in fact, that I could not have driven her had I tried today because I would not have been able to get into the car. See, I'm wearing a pencil skirt and I had a hard time lifting my leg to get into my car and that's only a foot or so off the ground. I could not lift my leg any higher than my knee. And Ruby comes to my chest. See my issue? So we are scheduled for a car switch tomorrow morning. And that means I get to drive the Jeep when it's 30 degrees out and it's an open top. Good thing I'm going home tonight to get my down coat, wind pants, fleece gloves, hat, and scarf. I'm gonna need it.

Although, to be honest, I love the Jeep. One night we went rock crawling up a foothill and it was unlike anything I've ever done. It felt similar to a cartoon, where a car takes on a personality and will of its own. While BB was driving, it didn't feel like he was in control. Rather the Jeep was the one climbing up the hill and we were simply watching her from inside. Going down the hill wasn't nearly as fun, but looking at the city and the sky from the top of the hill was awesome. That's the beauty of a town built on a flood plain.

Ok, I'm Done With Being Alone Now

I love this picture. I love when she gets so excited that she opens her mouth and screeches. I love when we are in bed in the mornings and she curls up next to me and puts her forehead next to mine. And how when she was sitting in the arm chair, she patted the space next to her and said "You sit here, Jessi."

I would like to add up the time in the past five days I have spent not speaking. I'm not really lonely, I don't mind the time to myself. But I really hate how I feel I haven't said anything to anyone in days. Today would have been a much better day if my co-worker hadn't been smart enough to take the day off. I know we just had four days off, but I need to take another day. But the silence ends tonight since BB is back and I won't be working alone tomorrow. This afternoon has been pretty quiet. I know they are slammed down on the Circ desk downstairs but it's been silent up here for the past thirty minutes. Gives me an excuse to play Justin Timberlake!

One hour left. Need to make (One) Snowman. Should burn (Four) CD's. And clean off my messy desk.

Five Till!

I have five minutes to get ready for bed because I want to go to sleep at 11. But I HAVE TO POST! Otherwise, I feel like I'm not giving it my best.

Not that this is my best.

Hey, It's Not That Cold Outside!

I spent most of the afternoon freezing so I didn't take JBelle outside. Which meant that we watched way too much TV. Something about Spongebob Squarepants calls to her. I can't break her away from him.

We finally went out around 4:30 and we discovered that it wasn't that cold. So we petted the horses and went to see the chickens. Hunter can't stand the fact that he can't come with us, and today he broke down and showed me how he can get out of the yard. Foolish, foolish boy. Now he can no longer get out of the yard and break into the dog food barrel, thus making me seriously paranoid that he has twisted his stomach and will require a thousand dollar surgery because he's so flipping bloated.

In any case, he's fine now.

I'm going to Denver tomorrow, for a few reasons.
1) I'm tired of being asked "when are you coming to Denver?"
2) I have to get up at 9, after having worked till 2, so I can pick up the pig meat.
3) I can't handle being home all day alone.
4) BB is coming back tomorrow, so I need to get myself back into "busy" mode. I've had a few days of 8 hour nights and lazy days.

Hi, It's Friday and I'm Posting on My Blog While Sitting On My Living Room Floor!

The parade?

I missed it.

I missed it because I was pinned to my bed with a metal stake going straight through my brain.

At least, that's what it felt like. Pounding, nauseating, large wooden stake through my skull pain. I haven't had a headache like that one in many years. I woke up at 8 AM and drank some water, thinking I was just dehydrated. Woke up at 9 with even worse pain, so I took some Ibuprofen and got back in bed. Ten minutes later, I threw up the ibuprofen and got back in bed. Fell asleep till 11, which was the time I was supposed to be meeting my uncle at his house. When I opened my eyes at 11, the pain was gone. But as soon as my feet hit the floor, it was back. After my shower, while I was blow drying my hair, I had to lean against the wall so I would fall over. Somehow I made it to my uncle's house and I let him drive me to my other uncle's house. My Uncle K offered me some Valium or vikoden, but I wanted to at least be awake for Thanksgiving so I declined. Plus, I figured I would throw up if I took it so why waste it? I hear that stuff is fabulous with a little vodka.

Once I got to my Uncle M's house, I sat around for a while. I managed to eat some bread and drink a little water so I could take some excedrin for the blinding pain. I played a game of Uno and I think that helped a lot.

My Uncle M and Fam had friends up from Austin, TX. They were there last year, so it was fun to see them again. Gabby, age 6, asked me when I got there what my husband's name was. When I told her that I didn't have a husband, she turned around and pointed to my Uncle K and asked "then who is he?" Later, the oldest sister asked me if I had any kids, and as I replied no, Gabby stage whispered from across the table "She's not married!" During another conversation, the only boy of four children asked me if I was married, and when I replied no, his mom said "Why, you going to ask her?" His response was "No, she said she had to check with someone before she did that and I was wondering if it was her husband."

I'm struck by their marriage questions because in a time when so many people get divorced or have children out of wedlock, here is a group of children who can't fathom a woman without a husband or a child without both parents. It's refreshing, but also shocking. The oldest daughter assumed that JBelle lived with my brother and his wife/her mom and she kept asking me questions about them and I couldn't bring myself to tell her "No, they were never married and he actually doesn't see JBelle." I recently read an article about how teen pregnancy rates have gone down, but there are more women in their 20's who are becoming pregnant and keeping their children without getting married.

I'm just not ready for that. Last week, when I had JBelle by myself and BB came over to keep me company, I realized that having a baby changes EVERYTHING. I see so many people balance work, a social life, a boyfriend, and their children but I couldn't do it. And I admire JBelle's mom for how well she has done and she is on my list of people to be looked up to because I don't know if I could do as well as she has. Granted, my student loans are the reason my life would be hell with a child. But if there was some sort of loop hole that unwed mothers are eligible for their loans to be paid off, I might say SIGN ME THE FUCK UP! Because I hate you, Sallie Mae.

Anyways, tonight I have JBelle so we watched Hercules together in the chair before reading books in bed. So maybe I could be out at the bar, but I don't mind. Because when she asks me to "Come play with me, Jessi" there isn't a bar in this world that is better than that.

"All I Have Are Narcotics"

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful that my migraine headache is going away!

The Virgin

"And I thought, 'Bowing to the Virgin? Totally lame. Nobody bowed to me when I was a virgin."

from Dirty Catholic

All The Best Blogs Have Photos

Last night, this nice girl stole my pillows.

  





And this huge boy took over the lower half of the bed. I slept on the diagonal to accomodate them.


This weekend, I will be sleeping with this red-haired, ABC singing, temper tantrum prone, favorite niece of mine.



Hopefully we will spend less time on the floor, pouting over many things, like brushing our hair, saying sorry to Hunter for smacking him, and not being allowed to get water all over the kitchen.

It's Not Thanksgiving Without Jellied Cranberries, OK?

Thanksgiving Traditions with Duncan Donuts and maybe Annushka!

Once, my grandma didn't buy any cranberry sauce. I think that was at least 6 years ago and it's still the worst Thanksgiving of my life. Actually, not the worst. But why did no one go to the store and buy me some damn cranberry sauce? Being the oldest and favorite granddaughter/niece did not have it's perks that day.

Anyways.

I do not like celebrating Thanksgiving at home. As you already know, I'd prefer to spend it with Annushka. But I have very rarely spent it at my house in general. Growing up, we went to Driggs, Idaho and stayed with my favorite aunt, Denise and her family. It was always cold and perfectly snowy. They lived in a huge log cabin and their house was surrounded by tall trees and the yard was perfect for sledding. The day after Thanksgiving, the town of Driggs had a Moonlight Madness Sale and the whole town came out for shopping, visiting, and a huge raffle.

Cranberry Sauce in a can. Must. Have. Always.

Sweet Potatoes and Pineapple. This is two different dishes, actually. A combination of those two things might be really awful. But this started during the Idaho years. Sweet potatoes with a brown sugar pecan crust and a baked pineapple dish.

The parade. I almost always miss the beginning due to sleeping in. But it's a must have, I love the Broadway floats/performances.

The knitting. Mostly this happens at the Casa de la George, since I'm the only knitter in my family, but this year I am taking knitting with me. Maybe I'll finally finish the scarf I started for my uncle a year ago. Or maybe I'll just have it done by Christmas.

The West Wing. I may be wrong in this, but I recall a West Wing Marathon during Thanksgiving breaks. Much better than football!

So here is to a Happy Thanksgiving! With cranberry sauce and Andes Mint pie!

Even Though it's Children's, Please Use Your Adult Voices

Way Too Over Eager Mother With an Awful Chipper Voice: That's a Brontesaurus.

Me in My Head Being an Asshole: Um, no. They actually changed their names and that is now a Sauropod.

I mostly hate her because she can't be this sweet-talky all the fucking time.

Let's Face It, I'm a Lemming.

My Really Really Great OWU Moments:

Speaking "click" at the Kappa table.

Halloween Junior Year. I dressed up in a toga, got drunk somewhere, went to Hayes to visit Sally, and ended up reading one of Hallie's books for Children's Lit to Sally, Hallie, Sarah, and Cheryl. Something about a cat in the dryer. I don't remember if I actually said any of the words or if I just laughed the entire time.

Hanging out in the lobby of the theatre. During rehearsals it was almost always sex talk. During lunch it was almost always an argument of some sort.

Laughing so loud that everyone in HamWil at lunch stopped and looked over at the Kappa table.

When I brought my video camera to the Kappa house during recruitment and I filmed Sarah trying to kill an enormous fly before realizing that I was filming the upstairs and IS THAT ALLOWED?

Giving backrubs during Alias.

Sally's Pride and Prejudice Party in her room in Hayes.

Rolling chair caterpillar.

Skanky McHoHo

SLU parties! The Rock Star party, HOT's Toga party, The Treehouse Office Party are my favorites. The Rock Star party led to my absolute favorite picture of Sally and I looking serious and hott, with a Bush/Cheney sign in the background. The Office Party was the most unusual because we all were playing characters rather than getting drunk at a party. I was Vicki from HR, and my husband was Matt, and hey that was a little awkward because he was dating my roommate. Callie got so into her role as the woman with A LOT of cats.

"The Store" aka my room

Sally coming over for "homework time" but not getting much done due to the fact that she started improving dances to Howie Day.

Standing in line for the Matt Nathanson/Howie Day concert.

The Great Big Sea Concert where we stood in the front row with our wonderful teeshirts (Sally Ann, Penelope, and Marimac). Too bad they didn't comment on us in their travel log.

Pres Ball. Especially that time I went ALONE because a certain freshman coughericcouch was also going ALONE. Yeah, that worked out really well. :)

Ordering Molson's at the backstrech so we could peel off the labels and tape them to our walls.

The Bunny Plaque!

The Stitch Stops Here. I miss the yarn ladies.

When I gave Sally a bottle of wine for her birthday and we tried to open it with a screw driver.

Crossing the street to the residential side, once again laughing so loud that it prompted an unknown boy to say to me as he walked past us "so loud!"

Kitty on the Porch, Squirrel in the Tree

Our neighborhood has become a haven for stray cats. I blame it on the people down the street since the cats seem to congregate there for the most part. Our closest neighbors also put out food for cats, thus why BOTH of my cats moved into their home soon after they moved in. I don't blame them since I'd move there too if they fed me cream and canned food rather than that dry shit we put out for them and the fact that we kept bringing home fucking puppies. On cold days, the cats gather on the roof of the trailer at the end of the road. The other morning I saw a momma cat and three kittens in the driveway. Today there is a brown and white cats curled up in the chair on the porch. She/He knows I saw it because I started yelling "here kitty kitty kitty" from the front door. I know if I open the door it will run away, so I've resisted. I don't really like cats, except Jack and Kyah, so I don't know why I want this one to stay around. It's more of a cozy idea, cats sleeping in the sun on your front porch.

In my backyard, there is a little bit of chaos. Emma and Hunter have "treed" the local squirrel. Squirrels are a recent inhabitant of my area. It's a rural town and I've only seen this one squirrel here my whole life. Now, this squirrel isn't really stuck. He knows that he can get away, but he chooses to stay up in the tree and tease the dogs. Emma will sit under the tree for hours at a time, just watching it. The squirrel has also gotten out of the tree and sat on the ground a few feet from Emma, and no chasing ensued. They must have a secret understanding. Or the dogs are just really well fed.

Beggock!

All day long I've been feeling lethargic. 6:30 AM is early, but I am always up by then! I just couldn't shake off the sleepy feeling until 9, when I made myself shower so we could get out of the house. After that I was fine, but when JBelle took a nap I followed suit and I had to force myself to wake up again.

This is all proof that I need to eat some freaking protein. I CANNOT SURVIVE ON BAGELS AND CHEESE.

So tonight I placed myself in front of the freezer and pulled out some chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, and brussel sprouts. I'm working at the bar tonight, so I'd like some energy. I'm afraid to nap because I might sleep all night long. I wanted to grill, but we are out of propane (and there is no way I would take the tank to the gas station to get more because, I'm not sure if you know this, but they put a gas in that tank and I cannot be trusted with a tank of propane and some matches) and we were also out of BBQ sauce.

JBelle and I went to the Cingular store this afternoon so I could exchange my cheap-ass phone for a better one. I put up with a cheap phone the last time we signed a contract and I wasn't about to give them two years and just get a mediocre phone. I think it's good I went back for the THIRD time because I actually got someone with some knowledge on plans and pricing. I ended up choosing the LG C500 something or other. All I know is that I can pay $40 for a USB cable and download songs to my cell phone so it's like a MP3 player. Yeah right, I would never buy a phone for that feature. Maybe for a camera now, but that's to occupy JBelle in the car with recording videos. Anyways, I got this phone because is seemed like a decent choice. To be honest, it's like a Razor but not as thin and with a much easier keypad. I think I'm finally satisfied with a cell phone.

Although, the more I look around, the phone I broke wasn't all that bad!

A Two Year Old, or Why I Can't Get Drunk Tonight

Since The Mom was shipped off to boring Oklahoma this Wednesday, I am in charge of getting JBelle tonight and watching her tomorrow. (I am so not complaining. I am doing this all on my free will because I adore this child more than Hunter, and I love him more than life itself.) But it does mean that I am unable to leave her with Gramma while I go out and have fun and sleep in. Lucky for me, BB is coming over so I will not be alone and asleep on the couch by 9:30. Not that that happened last night or anything...

I also had nothing to do with the red stain under the coffee table. I told Hunt to clean that up. I think he listened, but I didn't open my eyes to see. Damn you, Barbara Walters for being so fucking boring. I was supposed to go to Ladies Night, because they NEED me to help them pick music for the "new and improved Country Western Ladies Night" as I am the only one there who isn't obsessed with hard rock music. That doesn't mean that I don't know all the lyrics to "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" song now. It's not that I am a huge country fan. I do tend to gravitate to country songs for karaoke, but that's because they are so easy to do and there very few female vocalists on the radio right now. (Ok, there is no way I am going to sing something by Fergie or Beyonce for karaoke, NO WAY!) Plus, I have a good country voice. Not so much a good pop voice. I love singing in my car, especially to the Dixie Chicks new CD (the angry one) and messing around with my Southern accent. I can get real twangy. I'm pretty sure that if I had moved to Austin in August, I would already have a Texas accent. I probably would have acquired it about four days after I moved in.

So I will be home tonight with JBelle and BB. I've never felt more like a Baby's Mama than right now.

My Russian Friend

Sally became Annushka over Thanksgiving break of our Junior year. I was reading the "Master and the Margarita" for my Devil, Hero, and God class and there was a character in the story named Annushka. She was a minor character, only mentioned once or so.

"...The only thing known about her is that she was seen daily either with the can or with her bag or with both-now in the kerosene store, now in the market, now in the gateway or on a staircase, but most often in the kitchen of apartment number 48, where she was one of the tenants. What was best known about her, however, was that wherever she was, and wherever she appeared, there was always sure to be a scandal, and also that she was nicknamed "The Plague". For some reason, Annushka the Plague always got up very early..."

I call Sally "Annushka" because both Abby and I had Russian nicknames. Well, I am Jishka (which I am sure is not Russian but it sure sounds like it!) and I can't remember what Abby was but she took Russian and thus was named. And Sally felt left out. So Annushka it is!

In my head, I feel that Thanksgivings should be spend with Annushka and her family. I was only there for two of them, and two Easters but something about being there with her is how I feel Thanksgiving would be best celebrated. Annushka and I would spend a few hours at Starbucks working on papers or novels for class, followed by trips to the mall for a little spree. I would always end up going with MaGeorge to the yarn store, which almost always turned into a trip to the grocery store, Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and the Italian market, etc before we actually returned home. West Wing marathons in the basement and traditional sugar cookie making and decoration. Stove top popcorn and dinner at the G'rent's house. Even if dinner every night wasn't until 10 pm and we were always freezing, I loved every moment of it all. I'll always want to be home for Christmas, but I wonder if I'll always long for Thanksgiving in Toledo.

A Moment With Lydia

"Excuse me," she says as she walks around my desk to stand next to me.
"What's in that jar?" she asks in reference to my Swallowtail butterfly cocoon.
"I found it on my fennel plant this summer and when it was close to fall I put it in a jar so I can watch it hatch."
"So you found it outside and put it in a jar with some food? We did that once, and we hatched a bee."

Next:
"What's your favorite color?" she asks.
"Pink. Kind of like those flowers."
"They are purple. My shirt is purple," she says as she pulls the neck of her shirt out of her coat. She is wearing one of those one size fits all, and by all I mean age 5 to 50. Those bumpy, honeycomb looking shirts.
"Isn't it funny that I could wear that shirt?" I say.
"Yeah, but it'd be a belly shirt on you. And you wouldn't want that."

Next:
"How old are you?"
"23."
*pause*
"I have an aunt who is 30!" she says.
"I'll be 30 someday."
*pause*

*sings* "Somedayyyyyy!"

At this point her older sister comes over and leads her away from me, casting sympathetic glances back at me as they walk away.

I Can't Pick Favorites

But my mom totally does.

Anyways, time for another Topical Post with Duncan Donuts! We decided Best College Memory. I'm sure that there is no such thing as Best College Memory, more like 5,000 Best Memories, but I will do my best to pick a good one.

Junior year I went to Canada with the Theatre Department for the Stratford Shakespeare Festival, something they do every year. About 20 students go, plus two or three faculty members. The year I went Glenn and Chad were the two faculty members slated to go, but Dr. G was going with her family (something we were all secretly pleased with because we LOVE this woman, and Glenn is a little uptight and Chad was new and still a little creepy.)We left on a Friday morning, everyone piled into three vans. I can't remember all the people in mine, but I know that I had the student driver (Kenneth), Audrey and Miranda were in the seat behind me, and Michelle was next to me. The first leg of the trip was spent sleeping and listening to music. We got into Canada without a hitch, sort of a big deal when you have students with Visas.

We get to Stratford and "check in" to our hospital rooms. Yes, we stayed in the nursing dorms, or something like that. After everyone puts their stuff down, we get ready to drive back into Stratford because it's CANADA and we can ALL DRINK THERE! Our first order of business is to find a place to eat and order a drink with it! Except for Eric C., who wasn't 18 yet, the poor boy. The first night we watched "Taming of the Shrew", set in a western theme, yeehaw! We headed straight to the bar after that, I can't recall the name but I know there was a bartender named Scott who worked there. His catch phrase was "What would you like, love?" and Michelle asked him to marry her and she even gave him a ring which he was still wearing THE NEXT NIGHT! It may have helped that she made out with him in the kitchen, but that's all I'm saying. My special memento of the night was a very nice Guinness glass that I stole when we went to the bathrooms. I still have it, actually.

Ok, this is To Be Continued...

Since work is over and I *have* to post today! Sorry, kiddo!

Petition For A Longer Weekend

It's come to my attention that I need a longer weekend. As it stands on a normal weekend I have

Friday: Work and getting JBelle as well as going out.
Saturday: Hanging out with JBelle, nap, work at the bar.
Sunday: Sleep in, do random things that can't be done during the week.

Friday night I broke my phone. Luckily, I was due for an upgrade so I didn't have to pay an extraodinary amount to get a new phone. So Saturday was taken up with going to Pueblo for a new phone and also a nap because I didn't sleep much Friday night. Sunday also had a nap thrown in, but it's ok because I am trying to avoid my head cold turning into a sinus infection because I hate antibiotics. I went shopping on Sunday because it was a nasty, winter like day and I feel better about Ohio weather if I'm buying clothes. (I don't really understand the concept of not doing something anymore. I may still be going a million miles an hour, but it's second nature now. Thus why I took a perfectly lazy afternoon and turned it into a busy day.) I CAN'T HELP IT! I really needed new clothes, but all I got was shirts. Mostly only fit for the bar and going out, but still. I also bought a new purse which I didn't need, but I really did. If you saw the one I had before, you'd agree. No one needs an everyday purse that can fit their laptop and a change of clothes. It's just TOO BIG!

Another solution to my busy weekend would be to not live in a small town. If I lived in a bigger city, I would not have to drive 20 miles for a Cingular store or the mall so I would not have to take an entire afternoon or morning to get my little errands down. I can't imagine how people who CHOOSE to live in the mountains survive when they are more than two hours from a mall. I also have a problem with not having cell service in the mountains, obviously I am not cut out for mountain living. I like my false sense of being close to the mountains while having all the amenities that "civilization' has to offer me. As long as I still have to watch for deer while driving down 4th St. I think I'm close enough to the wildlife.

I am amused by all the deer that are down from the high country. Mostly because two weeks ago, you could not drive down the highway and not see at least one truck with a trailer full of camping equipment, four wheelers, and the occasional deer hide and antlers. Yet I kept seeing deer in the most unlikely of places, like on the train tracks and by the park. I think the deer know when the hunters are going to be looking for them and they decide to hightail it to town, thus avoiding an untimely death. I just hope they keep in mind my car and stay in the freaking bushes instead of on the black top!

Because I Have To!

I'm going to leave in a few minutes, but I am going to do my best for the entire month of November to post even when I am busy (ie, not home) or when I have nothing to say. Today, both those things apply. BUT I'M POSTING!

Hunter and I are currently on the bean bag, and earlier today we took a nap on the couch. He's not allowed on the couch unless I am there, and generally that means he's laying on me so as not to get fur on the couch. How many people do you know who can take naps with their 70 pound Labrador? Yes, I have a lap dog.

I went to the mall in Pueblo today where I saw a boy with a safety pin through his lip. I'm hoping it was a real piece of body jewelry, but I'm afraid that I'm wrong and it's really a safety pin. I also saw a girl with black and white eyeliner, applied very thickly and shaped into a point at the corner of her eye. It doesn't get much more ghetto!

Dear JBelle

I'm sorry I wasted a good portion of today running errands and sleeping instead of playing with you. But I have to admit that I'm ok with the fact that you are so excited to have someone other than grandma to play with. There is nothing better than having you ask me to "carry you?" or putting on my make-up in the bathroom, standing behind you while you play with the pretties on the mirror.

Right now you are jumping from the couch to the bean bag and I've never seen you do that before. When we first brought the bean bag home, you were afraid of it and refused to sit on it even though we knew you'd love it. So tonight, when you got your cup of milk and went to sit on the bean bag alone rather than with Gramma or me, I laughed. As you jump onto the bean bag, you shout "yeehaw" or "tada!" and apparently "I won't find Tiko now!"

Last night, you hit me with a book and when we told you to tell me sorry, you sighed and turned your whole body away, like we didn't realize who you were and that you never say sorry. Gramma told you tonight that "You have your moments" and you agreed by saying "I have my moments."

Yes you do.

One Year Later

A year ago, my friend Audrey promised to hook me up with some new music. Yesterday, I got a package from her! I can't even remember what CDs she told me that she was going to send but she packed 8 CDs into that box. I love new music.

This is what she sent:
The Killers
Fall Out Boy
Gorillaz
Rob Thomas
Van Hunt
Thicke
Brand New
John Mayer Trio

She also sent me the first book of the Stephen King series "Dark Tower". I'm going to attempt reading it, even though I'm not a big King fan. Speaking of books, I'm supposed to be compiling a list for a friend of my top ten most influential books. As of now, I have four and I couldn't tell you why they were influential besides that fact that I love them and would read them again. Yes, I know I'm a librarian and that I should have no problem picking out ten books. And I could pick out ten books, but try picking out a book that has changed your life. A book that has made you feel or think differently, and see if you have actually read ten books that made any difference to you. I don't think I have. But I know there are out there.

One thing I miss about college is the opportunities I had to meet authors, to read their work and talk to them about it. Actually, we rarely discussed their novels or poems as we were too busy drinking bottles of red wine and eating amazing food on the couch in front of the candle lit fireplace at Olmstead's. Because of those receptions, I was able to meet some interesting authors *coughdaveeggerscough* and I also had my first "Oh you were a Kappa too?" moment. Ok, besides all that, those receptions made my liberal arts college experience. I would not have been able to discuss MFA programs as candidly nor have such a good time with them at a larger school. *Maybe I'm wrong, as I didn't go to a larger school. I just assume I'm correct in thinking a smaller school allows for such gatherings.*

Also, maybe my ten most influential books are more than just books. Maybe it's poems and scripts and someone's senior art project. But, that's not the task I've been assigned. I think I need to read more!

Metallic Shirts Aren't A Deal-Breaker, But Try Asking What My Tattoo Means

Duncan Donuts and I are doing a list of our Deal-Breakers (Yes, I can hear the collective scream from a few people that I obviously don't have any because, hello? Soul patch? Metallic shirt? But shut your face because the soul patch is gone and at least he wasn't wearing leather!) Anyways, you can see DD's list here whenever she gets around to it.

1) Asking me to describe in detail "what I'm about" or "what's your story". ummm, no.

2) Touching me unnecessarily. We may see each other every week at the bar, but that doesn't mean you need to hug me. Thanks.

3) Not showering. This may seem obvious, but then you haven't been around any seasonal rafters, many of which are attractive but they live in tents for three months.

4)Large diamond earrings. Especially if you are white.

5)Indiscretion. It's not hard to do.

6) Calling a woman a bitch. Not cool, man.

7) Tying your jacket around your waist. The 80's are over and no one does that anymore.

8) Telling me to smile when I walk by you at the bar. Unless you are giving me a $20 tip, shut the fuck up!

9) Not being able to handle yourself in social situations. If a home-schooled girl can be ok in a bar alone, get some skillz!

10) You think fast food is an appropriate thing for meals. And yes, Chili's still counts as fast food.

A Ploy For the Lurkers On The NaBloPoMoRandomizer

Why did the chicken cross the road?

For The Profile Pic

  

Like Lemmings

I've started a trend. It feels so good. We will see how long this Xanga to Blogger switch goes among the old crew. Some of you have a hard time answering email, so my hopes aren't that high but I will give you the benefit of the doubt! I realize not everyone is as blessed as I am with an abundance of internet free time. Yes, I am so lucky. I should post more often, and very long posts with all that lucky free time I am blessed with.

I may be the last person in the world to watch Wedding Crashers. BB and I bought it last night and I think it's one of the best funny movies I've seen in a while. I didn't finish the movie because it was late but I intend to. I think Wedding Crashers is on the same level as Mean Girls, which is good, well written humor as opposed to stupid Will Ferrell humor. *I'm sorry, I know you LOVE him, but GOD, his movies make my brain bleed and I really AM dumber for having watched that movie more than once.*

I am working at the bar tonight, as usual. We are starting our Karaoke contest officially this week. It really started last week, but I've been told it doesn't count. I need to start thinking of good songs to sing since employees are not exempt from the contest! Not that I am trying nor want to win. But it's a fun way to pass the time since Wednesday nights have gotten so slow! Maybe now that people are coming back from school, we will be a little busier during the week. Because I know that the need for alcohol is a lot higher for college students than it is for all the regulars here. All I can say is, I am so looking forward to the thoughtful, polite, too drunk to remember they already asked me if I have a boyfriend, annoyingly rude assholes that are state college boys back home in small town Canon. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean that I don't get asked out or annoyed by horny, drunk boys but I do love how most of the comments stop after BB stops by to see me. But I think it's stupid how the nice boys stop talking to me after they see me with BB. It's not like I can't be friends with you just because I have a boyfriend!

Today is another amazing day. It was 71 degrees when I drove to work at 9 and I'm sure it's even nicer now. I think that such a nice day warrants the closing of business and everyone should be outside. I think it's God's way of saying "Go enjoy this day because it's the last nice day you are going to have in a while. Please, be fooled into thinking winter won't be cold and dark, take this day off and love every minutes of it. Because come Saturday there is going to be snow and grey, JUST LIKE OHIO!"

I Voted!

I did! I left my house at 9:58, made it to the poling place, got my form, waited in line, voted and got out of there by 10:18. And I made it to work by 10:35, only five minutes late! That's the benefit of living in a small town. The line would have been non-existent had I gotten my lazy ass out of bed before 8:30 but I didn't and I don't care. I can't imagine how annoyed I'd be in a bigger city with long voting lines. I guess that's why absentee ballots will be my friend when I do move! I did not get a sticker, nor did I see anyone else with stickers. And that is the downside to voting in a small town. No stickers!

It's seventy degrees outside right now. For those of you who don't know, I live in Colorado on the Front Range. And I would just like to point out again that it is seventy degrees and also the 7th of November. Ever since coming back here, I have dreaded the winter months. I hate the cold, snow, darkness, and ugly look of the landscape that seems to last so long. Summer goes by so quickly and winter lingers. This summer seems especially short due to the rain, which was very appreciated as I do not like my state on fire! We have enough trouble with evil, tree killing beetles. (I swear, Breckenridge is not going to be a very nice resort for much longer if they don't find a way to kill those damn bugs and re-plant about half the trees BY NEXT YEAR!) I've been dreading winter. I don't like getting up when it's dark, having to wear layers on the morning walks, wearing a coat to the bar, closed toed shoes, hose, and warming up my car. I'm very much a spring/summer kind of girl and I have the skirts to prove it. But right now, the air conditioning is on and I'm wearing the same outfit I wore back in July. So maybe this winter will turn out to be quite snowy, I don't mind. It's seventy degrees on the 7th of November.

Did We Really Need A Sequel To That?

While watching the third Mummy movie-

Me: I should get into writing sequels. They suck, but it'd be easy and obviously someone is paying for this.

BB: You could write about me.

Me: Oh, I will!

Dude, I Suck!

Well. That didn't take very long to fall off the posting fence. What makes it even worse is that I was online yesterday and I told myself to post before I showered but what did I do? I shut the laptop lid!

And maybe I could set this post to be from tomorrow, but I would know I was cheating. And the guilt would burn a whole in my head for the entire month and what if I randomly won a prize? I wouldn't deserve it!

I just hope I'm not the first person to lose. Especially since my URL was just now posted over on http://www.fussy.org/nablopomo.html. And I got my first comment ever!

When I was busy not posting yesterday, I was on my way to the mountains for a little get together at my "other mother's" house. I didn't realize it was a football watching get together but it's good I didn't know as I would have opted to stay home and watch something a little less loud and a little more stimulating, or maybe I would have taken a nap. But on the drive through the canyon I saw quite a few big horn sheep. The first one I saw was standing on the railroad tracks. Just standing there, as if waiting to face off with a train. A fight he would most certainly lose! I think something was wrong with him. Then again, he is part sheep. And I've never met a smart sheep.

So.

Sarah,

I'm sorry that we did not see any big horn sheep while you were here. Obviously we were looking in the wrong places, like on the rocky hills rather than on the tracks of death!

Purple Kitty, Naptime, and Why Flamingos Say Fuck

I never meant to teach JBelle to scream "fuck" on demand.

It started out well. I'm not really sure if flamingos ever make sound, but "squawk" seemed an appropriate thing for one to say. And JBelle started out by saying "ssss wok"but it has now morphed into a very loud, high pitched "fuuuuck"! Hey, at least I didn't teach her to say that "mommy did it with a razor blade" when asked where she got those bruises on her legs.

Purple Kitty is the newest obsession. Purple Kitty is really a purple kitty who was once grape scented. I know, I had no idea that we could scent stuffed animals now! However, Purple Kitty does not smell like grape. I'm not sure what Purple Kitty smells like, as the purple is tinged with brown today and I'm afraid to put Purple Kitty close to my nose.

Many naps were taken today. I had one, Gramma had one, and JBelle had one. But only after she laid in my bed for an hour, playing and talking to herself. She didn't leave the bed, but each trip by my room showed her in a different spot. She has started talking outloud to herself. She used to say so few things, and now she is bursting with so many words that she even talks when she is alone. And I'm glad that I've been a part of that process. Because all two year olds should know that "politicians are clowns" and "those girls are floozies". It's good to start that process early.

Cute Feet!

Deb just pointed me in the direction of cosmetic surgery for feet. Apparently, women are getting plastic surgery work on their feet so they look better in high heels and open toe shoes. Some of them are even asking to have their pinky toes CUT OFF! I don't know about you, but I think that's taking it a step too far. I am not going to maim a normal body part just so my feet can look cute in high heels. What about flip flops! You could never go barefoot again! Because then you'd risk someone seeing only eight toes and asking what happened to the little ones? Unfortunately, I do have ugly pinky toes. The rest of my foot is quite nice, but the little ones are a tad bit deformed. But I'll take that over learning how to walk again! Much less learn how to walk in three inch heels again. I still haven't quite mastered that technique. Which is probably why I'll never climb any corporate ladders or wear nice suits to work.

Deb and I are adding a little musical theatre to our Friday today. Right now, we have the soundtrack to South Pacific playing (Yes, I know that's not the right way to type in the title of a play, but remember I have issues with Baby Apple and Blogger). When I was a freshman in high school, the "theatre" department put on this play and the only real memory I have of the show was hearing the girl who had the lead female role repeating the story about how she flashed the audience during her first solo. Later, we watched the video of the show and even through the grainy-ness of a 1990's video camera, her white underwear was clearly visible. I wonder where she is today, and how embarrassed she would be to know that I don't remember her name but that I can clearly see an image, albeit a grainy one, of her flashing over fifty people.

Speaking of high school, I am going to the bar tonight with one of my old BBFs from my years at public school, before the 'rents forced me into private school that lead me to college and into deep debt! Anyways. Amanda and I used to write each other notes about the two boys we had year long crushes on. I think I still have some of those letters and I may go home and look for them today. I wonder if Amanda still has mine. I can't imagine that she could ever read what I wrote because I have the most awful handwriting now, and it's a lot better now than eight years ago. All the letters we wrote during "health class" are all the same, except maybe I saw J*** in front of his locker instead of outside his classroom at 8:04 that morning. It's not really stalking when it's a two building school, right?

So we are going out tonight, to the bar I work at and often hang out at, like last night. But this time I will be with Amanda and not BB so she can coerce me into many drinks and dancing with her instead of BB during "Smack That". Because, I totally will smack that.

6:33

I only have until 7 to Publish this. Because after that I will forget that I am supposed to post everyday.

Last night, we gave Hunter and Emma rawhides to chew. My new favorite thing to do after giving Hunter a bone is to chase him around like I am going to take it from him. He holds it in his mouth and darts around the kitchen and living room, absolutely refusing to leave these areas. I think he knows that we won't really take it away from him, because he doesn't try too hard to keep away from us. But he knows there is a slight possibility that we will confiscate them so he tries to avoid us as much as he can without actually leaving our sight. All while avoiding eye contact of any kind. He'll stare at you all day long if you have a piece of food, but as long as his mouth is full, there is no need for him to look at me. It's similar to when he escapes to the front yard and loses all ability to hear out of his giant bat ears because there could be bread crumbs in the middle of the road!!

As Promised

I took this picture when we first brought them home. They weigh a lot more now than they did then! 

The Challenge

Today is the 1st of November. Which means that NaBloPoMo started! (I'm sorry, I have no idea how to make links with Blogger and since I have a Mac laptop, I have no right mouse button so I cannot add the link like I want to. I will look into this.)

*Edit* Ok, so Blogger must not be compatible with Safari because when I switched over to my work computer with Internet Explorer, I found a "Compose" tab with many more buttons, including a Links button.*

I somewhat regret my decision to get a Blogger blog because after I did, I realized there were more options out there. Not that I am any good with HTML or anywhere near understanding Movable Type. But, obviously, as you can see my page is sort of bland. White, really. It's because I am afraid to mess it up. At some point, I will be purchasing or using a free design from somewhere. For now, forgive me. I'm a baby blogger!

This morning started off with getting up at 6:30 to load Sadie, Abby, and Darla Jane into the trailer. This is a picture of one of them.* Since they have no ear tags like the 4-H pigs did, it's kind of hard to remember which one is which. So it could be Sadie, Abby, and Darla Jane or Darla Jane, Abby, and Sadie. It doesn't matter. We are still going to eat them. My mother and I must be getting better at getting them into the trailer because it took us less than fifteen minutes to get them loaded. It could have taken much, much longer with a lot more mud and bruising involved. It was also twenty degrees out and I had on Crocs! I chose the Crocs on purpose. Because anyone who has ever been around pigs knows that pig poo does not go away. EVER! It's the worst. So I was not going to subject the only pair of tennis shoes I have to the pig pen. Crocs are suppose to be anti-fungal, anti-smell. I didn't check after I took them off to see if they resisted the nastiness, but I'm putting faith in my thirty dollar pair of plastic shoes.

*I'll add a pic when it starts working again.*

Halloween was uncelebrated this year. Just like last year, but I can't actually remember what I did last year. Not celebrate, for sure. I was home, because BB went to Denver, although I'm sure that nothing was really going down in this town unless you were under the age of fourteen. I tried to watch TV, but the combination of Hunter claiming me as a resting place and the fact that I don't get enough sleep led me to pass out during Nip/Tuck. Nip/Tuck! A new one! But let's be real, I usually miss Grey's and last season that was almost sacrilege. But ABC.com made it so easy for me since they show each episode with limited commercials on their website. It's amazing!

And now, having sufficiently completed my NaBloPoMo requirement for the day, I am going to reward myself with songs from iTunes! Damn you, you are so addicting!

The Red Flag Turns White

Mom: I hope this is raising a red flag for you.
Me: It is.

Five minutes later and a hundred dollars saved-
Mom: Ok, I take all that back.

Jumping In

http://www.fussy.org/nablopomo.html

I am going to figure out how to sign up for that and join in. I think the month of November is going to be quite a challenge!

IOU

I owe you an explanation. Last week, a friend of mine told me to write her a story of what my life has been like since September. I believe she had good intentions in asking telling me to write her something. As I said before, I need deadlines. I need someone to be down my neck about what I'm working on. But I can't write the story she wants me to write. I think part of her request was to get me to see what I've done with my life. That by telling me to write about my life since the beginning of September, I will see the mistakes I've made. And that is no way to write a story.

Yes, someday I will tell this story, of my "time astray". And I am excited for that story because it's going to be something that I want to tell. But I don't want to tell it right now. I'm living it right now, and I cannot put it down into story form yet. I tried, and it reads like a journal and that's boring to me. I don't want my stories to turn into journal entries or even blog entries. I want it to mean something to me.

A few months ago, I dated someone and when I ended it he sent me an email telling me that he wondered how he would end up in one of my stories. And the truth is, I will never write about him. I will never tell that "story" because it's not a story. It's not interesting or life changing.

My life now is interesting. Not in the ways that my friends and family want it to be, but I am so fascinated with what is going on around me. It's not what you want for me, I'm sorry. And I can't write the story for you yet. I'm not lost, I'm just doing this my way.

This is me, but not really me.

 

I just wanted to see how I can publish photos with Picassa. I wish Picassa was compatible with Macs. The things I go through because I love my Apple. 

I don't do New Years

But I will make a resolution. I will write. Not everyday, because that is an impossible thing for me to do. However, no more one a week posts. And I've decided not to be annomymous. There aren't a whole lot of people out there who actually read my old blog, but I don't think that hiding my identity is important. I'm not going to lose my job over this, I'm not worried about anyone in particular reading it to find out what I'm up to, and I never really intended this to be a crazy tell-all memoir.

Because I live in a small town and I'm wasting my precious post college years on worthless adventures and pointless relationships. So how is that exciting? And who cares?

So this is for me. I need to get back to writing. Even if it's silly stories about the bar, and the library, and my amazing niece. I'm not going to be able to pull myself out of this slump if I don't have some way to put it out there. Deadlines really are beautiful things. I miss them.

So much money

The Today show is doing a special on a new fad called the Babymoon. It's amazing how many people have the means to spend so much money right before one of the biggest changes in a lifestyle. I'm not going to be able to support a child for 15 years unless I marry someone with a very good job and stable finances. I don't want to bring any children into the world unless I can really take care of them. I would also like for all this talk of children to be gone from me. My fear of the possibility of children is entirely my fault but even though I'm 99% sure it's not possible, all the talk surrounding me is freaking me out. Such a dilemma I'd rather not have right now.

However, the Today show did show that belly casts are a popular thing to do and I think that's cool. I want to be one of those women who have a great pregnant body but I don't think I'll be that lucky. I'll be a "put on weight" type so the plaster mold idea won't be as appealing when I'm hugely pregnant!

Anyways. Enough about that nonsense.

I am so sick of the campaigning that is going on recently. I hate how ugly it has become. Rather than talking about what a candidate will do if elected, they are focusing on what their opponent lacks. What's sad is that those commercials and phone calls always say that they are paid for by a certain group which leads us to believe that maybe the candidate doesn't endorse this slander, but they still took money from this group. It's sad, really. It shouldn't be like this. And what will it take to change that?

Not forgotten

I've thought about posting for a while, but realize that I have no one to show this too. But why do I want to have an anonymous blog and write about my life and relationships to people who don't even know me. Sure, I could tell stories about things no one knows and most likely would never find out about. But why? I don't even write some of the shit I do down so that I don't have proof that I actually did it in case I ever forget. Maybe I need to realize that it doesn't matter what I write and if I'm going to do something in my life, maybe I shouldn't worry about what people will think about what I do or say or think.

This is my space. I should remember that.

Rebellion

I have another sinus infection. That's three in four months. I'm really glad to be on antibiotics again. I've been missing the blinding pain in my stomach from the meds killing all the good bacteria.

I hate going to the Dr. when I'm still functioning. I feel like a baby/hypocondriac when I go in complaining of a sore throat and stuffy nose. However, if my Dr. was open all week long, I could have put it off until tomorrow instead of rushing around to get in today so I don't find myself in Emergicare on Sat. afternoon. Because that would put a huge damper on the scheduled sunbathing event that's happening in my backyard around 2 pm on Sat. Chica will be down all day and night on Saturday, so there will be no rush to get out of the pool and dry off and be fed before her mama comes down. Instead, we can wait for the clouds to roll in and hide our cancer causing sunshine, but at least we are getting some Vitamin D!

I've started a knitting project that should be done tonight. I made a cute case for my camera this morning while waiting for the pizza to bake and my Dr. appointment. When the Dr. pushed me back to 11:15, I decided to pull out the peacock yarn and start the purse I started and abandoned months ago. I'm halfway done now and I should finish it tonight and be able to wash it this weekend. However, I do have to work late tonight so it might be pushed back to Sunday. Too bad knitting on the job isn't allowed. At least knitting is much more productive than blogging! So is reading, and much more on par with a library job but I think that's frowned upon too. And they put in secret camera, so I best not risk it. Even though I'm sure our tech guy reads everything that comes through the networks/servers. That does defeat the purpose of a pseudonymous blog. And now we wonder why I want a new job.

I've been obssesed over my use of an apostrophe in the title.

I may be an English major but when making my first blog after admiring so many others, I worry that I will screw everything up and they will judge me.

I'm being quite uppity on that. Like they will ever find me and know!