Because I Have Five Minutes

Five Things You Should Know About Me

1) I bite my nails when I'm nervous or worried about something. I used to bite my nails all the time, but I got fake nails put on my junior year of high school and once I stopped wearing them I managed to stop biting my nails. Of course, I frequently have my fingers in my mouth but it's only when I am actively ripping my nails to shreds that I am seriously concerned.

2) I must shower everyday. Unless my hair is straighten, then maybe I can push it a day and a half. I just can't function if I've not showered, I feel dirty and it distracts me.

3)I don't really know how to dress myself. It's not like I wear mis-matched clothing or ugly clothes, it's more of a fitting issue. I pick out ill-fitting clothes.

4)I'm not very good with New Year's Resolutions, but I like to give stuff up at Lent. I am also not Catholic. I just like being able to control myself to refrain from doing something. Like when I gave up caffeine and pop in high school. To this day, I'd rather have club soda with lime than a Pepsi. (None of the Coke nonsense)

5) I could live off of flat bread, hummus, and brie. And Smart Water.

Hello Snow! I Didn't Have Any Time To Miss You.

Last week, when the Epic Storm hit us, my house got a foot of snow and Canon got none. We seem to be making up for that now. Damn. I hate cleaning snow off my car in the mornings. Especially when I still don't have a snow scraper. Where the hell is that!

I'm also wearing very snow inappropriate shoes even though it was snowing when I left for work. Nor am I wearing any hose. My brain is still in sleep mode, we are catching up.

I'm still on my antibiotics and I hate them. I've never been on this version before, the generic for Biaxin. It doesn't hurt my stomach as much as the kind I had before but it makes my mouth have the most awful taste. I want to constantly brush my teeth. Although, I might have discovered last night that drinking a ton of water makes it go away. Gum does not.

The power keeps flickering here so I keep losing my post. There is talk downstairs of closing early, as the snow is beginning to stick.

There was a little girl here at work all day yesterday. She told me it was because the place they were staying wasn't open until 4 PM, which means she is staying at the shelter here in town. This made me sad that her parents would spend the entire day here at the library. There are a lot of people who do that, lots of them are internet users who spend as many hours as possible on our computers. That's also sad, because they obviously don't have jobs and they are usually trolling sites in search of someone. I personally would not want anyone to know I looked at such sites, much less do it on a public computer with 10 other people around you. And it's one thing for an adult to be here all day, but to subject your child to that seems wrong. I know they might not have many other options, but still.

I'm Sorry.

Not that there is anyone to really apologize to, but whatever. I know that Annushka is obsessed with her Gmail Group and that Duncan Donuts has some sort of law school paper due, so they aren't posting either.

One reason I haven't posted, besides laziness, is that I have been sick. My tonsils are quite large and my head hurt for two days. I went to a walk in clinic today and the "Doctor" gave me a prescription for antibiotics and steroids because I "have strep, and we could do a throat culture but that's just an extra cost and you have strep." Never mind that the last four strep tests I've done this past year have come back negative, I must have strep! In retrospect, I should have made him give me a strep test, so that I could know for sure instead of just going on his advice or blatantly disagreeing with him. Perhaps I'm a little jaded after three other times I've been on antibiotics this year with no known reason why. It's kind of ironic how sick I've been since returning home from college. Maybe dorms don't breed disease like they say. Unless that disease is sluttyness and, man A LOT of us caught that one!

I cannot tell you how much I hate being on antibiotics. I don't like that they interfere with BC pills, or they awful way they make my mouth taste metallic, and how on day 5 they make my stomach hurt because they have killed all the good bacteria. I'm also on Prednisone, something I've never taken before. (I really should not have googled Prednisone, bad bad plan.) I think I'm on the Prednisone to reduce the swelling of my tonsils and to give me energy in the morning. Also, I think this clinic Dr. is a tad bit crazy. Maybe just pill happy! Obviously, I am not the pill happy type girl. I don't even like taking over the counter meds anymore. Except for my dear, sweet Excedrin. That shit is like gold and has saved me many a time.

I've been asked twice this week if there was any chance that I could be pregnant. Once by the guy who was doing my massage (Yo, I know ya'll dislike BB but he took me to the Spa at the Broadmoor on Sunday, and OMG it was fabulous)and then today by the Dr. as he gave me my prescription for steroids, except it was more of an afterthought, like "oh shit, what if she's pregnant and I kill her baby." Helllo malpractice lawsuit! Right, anyways. It's funny being asked if you are pregnant because men ask in such a wary tone, more of like they are asking if you are sexually active instead of carrying a child.

PS. It was sort of weird to have a massage by a guy, as I've only had women in the past. I don't know why, as it's not a sexual thing to get a massage but maybe it's because you are naked under a towel and in a dimly lit room with a man who keeps touching you!

On Dealing With The Public

Since I work two jobs, one at the library and one at the bar, I deal with the public all the time. And I'm dealing with them in a way that often makes me feel inferior to those patronizing the establishment.

For the most part, I find that people are generally respectful but there are always exceptions to that. Working at the library, I am often in the position of looking up information for someone who doesn't know so that means that they are very respectful and appreciative of what I am doing for them. Occasionally people will be irked that we don't have whatever obscure thing they are looking for and will be irritated that it's not available RIGHT THAT MINUTE. Other times, like tonight, I had a woman on the phone who insisted that she wasn't going to pay her fines because she calls every two weeks and renews them and she had it written down on her calendar that she did it two weeks ago. She kept saying that I had better take the fines off because she "wasn't going to pay them noway and that the Chinese lady usually helps her." It took all I had not to tell her that the correct thing to say would be "anyway" not "noway" and that the Chinese lady is actually Japanese, can't you tell the difference, you fucking moron? I'm actually not good with customer service in situation where the other person is treating me like I am in the wrong because I've programmed myself not to deal with other people's attitudes when they are the ones who messed up. This woman actually didn't renew her books two weeks ago like she said and I think she realized that at some point and was unwilling to take responsibility for that. So she chose to bully someone into doing what she wanted.

At the bar, I am working for tips and while my appearance has a lot to do with the money I get, I try to be friendly and not shut down when someone I don't know flirts with me. And by flirt, I mean touch, because I hate that! Only a few people have really bothered me with the touching, one guy who kissed my cheek once and has twice pulled me back with my apron strings, and another who likes to grab the pocket of my apron when he's really drunk. Other times people get really possessive of their drinks when I come by their table and give me comments about not touching them, in which case I stop going to their table for the night and they can go to the bar for a drink as I don't have to put up with attitude because I don't want your fucking tip. Or, most likely, I'm not getting a tip so it's a waste of my time.

I think sometimes I get a little frustrated with working in the public sector because I have a college degree. And I am smart and better than you. Because in this world I live in, smart and respectable people do not have to deal with angry, ignorant people lording over them.

I'll Make It Up To You, Baby. I Promise.

Obviously, I have forgotten I have a blog.

I will offer to tell you a story about anything you want though. Just ask!

I wore this shirt at the bar last night with some interesting results.

Rich thought it said "white boy" instead of "nice boy".
Ug told me that he needed to find my tree because he is the handsomest ugly fat man in the world.
And someone else said "Well, I guess I know why if I find myself under your tree."

I believe the long sleeve, not low cut Santa shirt got me more comments than any "cute" shirt I've wore.

Only Two Days And I Lost The Will

Oh man. This is why I can't take a break. I come back and am completely uninspired. Like, blog wha?

Nothing really happened this weekend except for the fact that I'm not sure there actually was a weekend and I was just extremely busy for two days. And by busy I mean I was shopping and watching movies. Because that's what I did.

Things I didn't do and probably should have:
Laundry (in my defense, I didn't really know I needed to do laundry on Saturday night when I had a little time because my clothes are spread out in multiple rooms and sometimes different houses. But now that I put it all together, it should have been done days ago.)
Decorate the Tree- We were going to do that before JBelle's nap, but then we had to go see Santa and his Reindeers (reindeers is JBelle's word) so the tree is still blank. Will be until probably Wednesday. At least is smells good.
Clean my car- Yesterday and the day before it smelled really awful, and today not so much. Will probably put it off again for another week.
Balance my checkbook- I don't even want to know. Especially now after the binge I was on yesterday. Did I really need another bra and a new fleece. No. Did I need the "Dear Santa" shirt and three Fresh Ink cards? No. Shut up.

I've decided that it's time for us to stop getting real trees and get a fake one. I hate fake ones. But I hate that these trees are grow and chopped down. I love how real ones smell and how they look, but I can't justify killing trees when half the forest in the mountains is being killed by some wierd beetle. Plant the Christmas trees, and bring on the fake ones!

I Hate Them!

I'm afraid of the little room in the basement where we keep the Christmas decorations at work. Mostly because I'm terrified that a cockroach is going to rush past me and completely freak me out like last time I was down there. Once, after the pesticide man came, there was a dying cockroach on the stairs in the common stairwell and I couldn't use the stairs for the entire day because it was just laying there and squirming when I walked past. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to move it because "holy shit that thing is alive and carries diseases!" And of course, no one else moved it.

I'd like to think I could handle the big ones that live in the south because they have to be less creepy and slower than these little ones that roam around here. Maybe it's because the basement is part of the original Carnegie library or because the Chinese restaurant next door lures them close with a full dumpster of left overs.

At Least I Never Ate Bananas With Ketchup

Like Duncan Donuts!

I know. I'm shocked too.

Anyways, we're doing a weird food likes or favorite combinations post because she finally got the hint that I wanted her to update. Like yesterday.

1) Peanut M&M's with Popcorn. It's the perfect mix of sweet and salty and crunchy. And yet I always feel weird when I'm in the movie theatre and I dump my bag of M&M's into the popcorn bowl.

2) Brussel Sprouts. Although, I'm learning I'm not alone in this.

3) Pizza with mushrooms and pineapple. I don't know how the started. Probably with me standing in line with my mom at Papa Murphy's, and being unable to decide if I want mushrooms or pineapple and demanding both at the same time.

4) Peanut butter and honey sandwiches with Doritos. I haven't had this in a long time, but I remember it being my favorite when I was a child. If this sounds normal, then you need to know I put the doritos inbetween the bread slices.

5) Syrup on bacon or sausage. I used to put it on eggs and hashbrowns too. But then I discovered toast and eggs and ketchup with hashbrowns. Although I still like syrup on the whites of fried eggs.

6) spoonfuls of peanut butter with chocolate chips. This started because we never had candy around but almost always chocolate chips for cookies.

7) Apples and Cheddar Cheese. Rather peasant/serf like, I know. Maybe they were afraid of bathing and thought leeches cured the common cold, but they had something going with that whole bread/apple/cheese thing.

I wanted to do ten items, but I can't think of any more weird things I like to eat.

Hi, It's December And I'm Still Posting Everyday.

I can't help it! Plus, I bet there are at least two people who check this everyday when they are 1) at the library 2) in their cubicle 3) when they should be doing other things.

So girls, it's all for you. Or "for ya" if I'm to speaking in JBelle-ese.

I insisted on wearing hose this morning because it's still chilly out and I am wearing my new Gap pencil skirt. With my Gap sweater and my cute navy heels. And I felt like hose was appropriate since the area where I park my car is covered in ice and no one should have bare legs when ice is surrounding one's vehicle. And I shaved my legs today so I Wanted to protect them from the cold. Unfortunately, the heels I wore do not go well with hose. It's almost impossible to keep the shoes on with hose and it makes my feet feel like they've been filed down to the first layer of skin. I thought maybe something was actually wrong with my feet until I took off my hose at lunch time because it was warmer then and I hate how knee highs show when you sit down. And my feet were happy again.

And I am happy because Walgreens sells thigh high hose so I can finally wear my garter that may or may not match my bra but it was a total accident! Walgreens also sells Cadbury chocolate with caramel and cranberry juice. Obviously I have very eclectic needs.

To The O-Hi-O I Go!

I found a plane ticket to Detroit yesterday for $198.60. (I fly into Detroit so Annushka can come get me from Toledo) So I immediately called her to say I've found a ticket for the end of January and this is great so I'm gonna buy it.

And she says "Ok, well I really can't tell you this is a good idea until I find out about getting into the program and I just don't know right now and I won't know ever."

So after that I freak out a little bit and maybe cry a little.

A few hours later, she calls me back and I say to her "Ok, you need to seriously consider me coming out at the end of January as it may be the last time in a while I can come see you if all my plans work out."

Annushka says, "Ok, my mom is watching a show right now and I will talk to her about it when it's over and call you at 8 to let you know what's going on."

At 7 PM, she calls me back and says "Ok, buy it." And then I give her a hard time for even thinking she needs to ask her parents because years ago, the first time I stayed with her and she left me there with her parents alone for a few days, they said I could come anytime even if she wasn't there and her mom would totally take me to the yarn store and the Italian grocery store.

So it was settled and I bought my ticket this morning, and shockingly it was still $198 on Frontier even though Southwest bumped theirs to $266, which really bites since my flight out of Detroit leaves at 6:30 AM. Bitches.

Some Random Thoughts In Random Order

Dear Frontier, Thank you for cheap airfare today.

I felt completely justified in sleeping all morning on Saturday because of the snow. I woke up once and thought "I should get up" before remembering that it's cold out there and I was very comfortable in bed.

Snow, please go away now.

New Shocks- You are incredible. All four of you.

Hunter has his winter coat in and it makes his fur really thick and grabbable. I'm glad he has lots of extra, saggy baggy skin to grab onto when he's trying to kiss me into submission for not being home earier. I'm sorry, laying in bed was too tempting. It's cold outside! Thus the extra fur.

The DaVinci Code is boring. The lead girl is a moron. Tom Hanks looks old.

Today is a Bad Face Day. Something is off today. I don't know if it's the hair cut, or I'm just pale. Or maybe it's because I don't like what I'm wearing and want to be in jeans and a sweater with my hair in a pony tail.

Christmas is three weeks away. The second week in January is right around the corner. I am not ready for this.

Freeze This!

Our pipes are frozen. Again. I don't think the case of beer in my car froze, but the pipes did. Perhaps we should have alcohol infused water to prevent such freezings. Or maybe if we had plumbers who actually knew how to re-pipe a house then things would not be on hold, as they are now.

And Then There Was This One Time A Terradactyl Swooped Out Of Nowhere And Grabbed Me!

I'm watching Jurassic Park III and I have to be quite honest with you. I love it. It can't top the first Jurassic Park, but it's certainly better than the joke that was Jurassic Park II. I mean, come on, there is no way that the T-Rex would have been able to escape and ravage the city of LA. Things like that just don't happen. But incredebly large dinosaurs on a secret island? Totally possible.

I love terrible movies like this, especially if the world is ending or cheerleaders are rising above all odds. Just the other night, I picked "John Tucker Must Die" at movie gallery while BB picked out something less mind numbing, like Superman. I could watch volcanoes exploding, bombs going off, asteroids threatening the world, and large waves that could cover the USA all damn day. Sure, I love my Academy Award Winner films and I've also got a thing for foreign films, but give me a crisis or some silly girls anyday! I can't even tell you how many times I've seen "Miss Congeniality" or "Dante's Peak". I also can't tell you how many times I've seen "Madagascar" but that's not my fault, I blame it all on JBelle and her need to hear "moove it, moove it!"

Not Even 5 And It's Dark. Damn.

Welcome to Winter.

It fucking sucks.

Bring back Summer. Or speed up to Spring.

Actually, I'd be ok with the darkness if it wasn't so freezing cold. I don't like bundling up for morning walks. Or scraping ice off my windshield.

Anyways, I'm about to go get my car and I'm hoping I can tell that my shocks are new.