Let the Assvice begin!

Alright! I think I've gotten the "all clear" to begin writing. I know I made a great statement about posting more often, writing, blah, blah, blah. But then I realized that until I told everyone in the need to know, I couldn't bring myself to push through posts when I really wanted to talk about the fact that I'm going to be having a baby in 8 months.

I guess I'm joining the ranks of the mommy-to-be bloggers. Although, according to my doctor I'm only 7 weeks along and that's about halfway through the first trimester so I'm trying, trying not to be overly confident because I don't have that "All Clear" yet. Maybe I shouldn't be telling the internet yet, but that's just my cautious side.

I wasn't really expecting to get pregnant on the first month off the pill, did you know only 25% of couples do? I took a test on the 18th but it came back negative so we left for Christmas sans the other test and I wasn't going to go out and buy a new one. Those tests aren't cheap, people! And I can wait for a week to get to the one I have in New Mexico! I took the test the night I got back to Hobbs, right before bed. After the pee on stick part, I put the cap on and proceeded to watch a bunch of lines appear. Except I forgot what lines I needed so I had to dig the instructions out of the box and look over them. It took me about a minute to figure out that the "Not Pregnant" involved one less line than I had. I went back into the bedroom and announced to an almost sleeping CS that "I'm pregnant." "No shit" was his response, I think. We went back to look that the test and I took out my contacts with very shaky hands. We didn't sleep much that night.

It's hard to believe that I found out on the 2nd of January because that feels ages behind me but it's really only two and a half weeks. I think time will move so slowly for the next 8 months. I've been to a doctor, and their computer program declares that August 26th is the due date but I think it lies. Partially because of the negative test in December and partially because I want a September baby. Not an August one. I don't want to share my birthday! Plus, September has a better birthstone.

I haven't felt too badly, a little more tired at times and sometimes a little nauseous. I can still eat, but I'm always thirsty. I don't look different, and I've actually lost a pound since Christmas.

I'm not sure if I want to continue with traditional "health care" options because my Doctor has already told me no weight lifting, no skiing, no alcohol. Not that I'm about to go drink a bunch of wine, I just know that it's not the end of the world if you have a small glass of wine. It's ok to lift weights in moderation, and if you know how to ski it's not like you will seriously damage yourself. I don't want a doctor who wants to induce me if I go past my due date one day. There are so many rules that pregnant women have to follow and I can't help but think it's a problem we've created. I'm not even supposed to eat Deli meat unless I microwave it first? I get the raw fish thing, but really? How far do we have to go?

I'm thinking about hiring a midwife and having some granola, hippy birth plan.

Now, to the real reason behind this post. The Assvice. I believe this term was coined by Amalah and it's completely true. I had a phone call from someone this week, and her excellent advice was that I can't vacuum or sweep the floor anymore. I'm pretty sure that if I'm not giving up daily workouts, then I'm not going to allow a dirty house because "sweeping and vacuuming uses stomach muscles and that's not good." CS said I should get a tattoo with "No Touching" on my belly. I think it's a good idea.