Some Serious Chatter

I haven't been very good at this lately. I know it stems from all the stress I'm carrying around due to our financial situation for the next few months. Quite frankly, I'm terrified. I can hardly think about anything else. I subtract numbers in my sleep, counting out bills we have to pay, figuring out how long my savings can last. Cobra through September? Can I invest in cloth diapers? How can I afford nursing clothes? How?

I let CS buy a motorcycle this weekend. Compared to what I just said up there, I'm sure you're thinking "that's stupid." But in reality, it's going to save us money. He can drive it to and from work and pay for it in a month on what he'd spend in diesel for the truck. It seems to run well and even if it only works till October, it will have saved us money. He also figured out that my car needs a new fuel pump and the cost of that is over three hundred so why not just let my car sit and I'll drive the truck to and from work.

*How terrible is it that I had all new fuel lines and whatnot put in my car last year when they told me I had a bad batch of gas and needed everything replaced? How is that not under a warranty?*

I feel terrible to stress about all this when I should be enjoying my last weeks as the pregnant lady, something I've wanted to be since I was a little girl. I am so ready to have a little baby, I can't wait for this child to come out and finally meet "it". I love going in to my baby room and looking at the blankets and sleepers and the adorable crib. I am excited.

But that time isn't now yet. I still have so much to do before this baby can be ready to come out and I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. I don't like having to look past the time after I have the baby and wonder how on earth we're going to make it without falling so deep in debt. I believe in miracles though. So I'll keep praying for one.