Pacify

I almost went to a La Leche League meeting this morning. We ended up not going because it was at ten and when we get up at eight, it's a little hard to get out the door. I'm not nearly as motivated to get up before he does as I thought I might be. I used to take walks at six in the morning, now we go around ten or eleven. Jacob has started sleeping until after four in the morning so by the time I fall back asleep, it's almost six. So I sleep till he wakes up, unless he doesn't wake until nine or ten. I like those mornings because it means I get to have breakfast first.

So back to LLL, I want to go. I think it would be nice to see what it's all about. As evident by Jacob's weight, I'm certainly not doing it wrong but it wouldn't hurt to meet others and maybe ask some questions. Like why my right side lets down every time I nurse and my left side hardly ever. Why my left fills more quickly? Is it natural for my back to hurt like this? (Although the back pain has gotten remarkably better. No more lying awake for an hour after nursing at two AM because my back is killing me.) I do wonder that if I went to a meeting, would they freak out about the fact that Jacob uses a pacifier? All the books I've read on breastfeeding say that a pacifier is BAD NEWS. However, he seems just fine. Sometime he gets mad that I put him to nurse when he just wants to suck, but we figure it out pretty quickly. He's growing well, and I don't have supply issues. But it's such a forbidden object in the LLL world that I am worried that if I go and they see him with one, I'm in for a lecture. Because that's what women do. They think they are allowed to impose their opinion on other people. Women with children are especially bad. I've already seen it. And I'd like to avoid the assvice. Some maybe we'll try again next month. Or we'll just stay home and watch Will and Grace at nine.