Jacob took a three hour plus nap this afternoon. He needed it, as he woke me up before 8 AM this morning. He slept for two hours in bed, then when he woke up crying I got him and rocked him back to sleep. He slept on me while I watched DVRed Desperate and Ellen for an hour or so. After my arm was numb and the shows were over, I got up and he continued to sleep in the arm chair, resting his upper body on the arm rest and turning his head every so often. He didn't wake when I took his picture nor when my cell phone rang and I left the room to take the call from the Family Planning Services as they informed me that I had an abnormal Pap and I tested positive for HPV. Which means I technically have an STD! And I've been tested for those. MORE THAN ONCE. Not because I am excessively trampy, but because I think it's smart to test and clearly I just proved myself correct. I have never had an abnormal pap and I've been tested since I was 16 or so. I've had at least two STD screenings and possibly a third. And all of them since I started seeing CS. If it wasn't clear before, CS and I are in a committed monogamous relationship so there should be no surprises here. Although he tells me that HPV can sit and hide for a long time without being detected and if that's true then I'm going to be pretty disappointed that I do not get to blame someone. Specifically, I want to be able to point at CS and bemoan the fact that he gave me an STD because I'm mean like that. (Also, KIDDING about blaming, in case sarcasm doesn't come across.) (Not really sorry, because if it's not him then I have no idea who to blame.)
So now I have to go in for a colposcopy, which means I need to get on Medicaid because I don't have an extra $300 lying around for someone to stick a large magnifying glass into my lady bits and check for cells. If I did have an extra $300, CS would either take it for his truck payment or I would have to buy new tires and the part to fix my 4-wheel drive. So, healthcare! I need it, and so does Jacob. I guess it's good to have a reason to finally fill out the paperwork, instead of putting it off until something major comes up again. I am the mother of a very strong willed, active little boy. Who has a tendency to mess around on the stairs in a very dangerous manner lately.
The good news is that it's early and this is still mostly precaution and that the strain of HPV showing up is generally defeated by your body in two years. I'm annoyed that I have to deal with it, but I'm not scared of it. I wish I had insurance, as this is going to make my "pre-existing conditions" a pain in the future but maybe soon we won't have to deal with such nonsense.
I hope you will think of me and say a prayer or send good thoughts. It's never fun to think of something lurking in your body and not being able to just have it taken away with a pill or cream or waiting it out.
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