Cut Off The Power Supply

I collected my mail the other day, one of those things I do occasionally. Not too often because then I'm just depressed about the lack of interesting mail, nor do I want to get bills as they trickle in. I'd rather rip that band-aid off quickly. Which is just what happened last time I trekked down to the mailbox. (At this point, any time I willingly choose to walk down the hill to the mail is considered a trek. I waddled, for Pete's sake.) I knew my gas and electric bill would be coming at any point so I was not surprised to see the APS electric bill. But I promptly died of shock when I got home and opened it.

Guess how much my total was? For one month, no past due balance lingering over my head.

One Hundred and Seventy Five Dollars.

$175!!!

My prior bill was $55. Easy. No big deal. But in one month it more than tripled? That's fishy to me. I realize it was a lot hotter in the month of July than June but I have a swamp cooler! Not even the fancy "real" air conditioner. It's practically backwoods for a house to have a swamp cooler. That's what trailer houses use! It's for the poorer folk. So this bill? Is just a little bit shocking. Guess it's time for a meter reading!

Making Girls Feel Pretty

The enormous belly and I had some fun this weekend when my co-worker came over to take pictures. CS joined in too, after I convinced him that he had time to shower and shave before she got to the house. Not like I hadn't warned him in advance. And boys claim to be so ready to go at any minute. Psh. I got ready faster than he did.

We took some really cute pictures. I also have about 25 shots of me looking confused or blank. I've had photo shoots before and they have always told me which way to look, or how to twist my body this way, and smile bigger. Both my lovely photographer and I realized later that we needed to pose the shot more than wait for it to just show up on it's own. Journalism does that to you, I suppose.

In any case, she took some great pictures that I will love to have further down the road. And it helped to have a day where I got to feel pretty again. Lord knows it's been a while since that happened.




Another co-worker of mine is going to do a photo shoot with me this weekend. We're going to get a little more risque and creative though!

Maybe I'm Qualified, But They Don't Know I'm Pregnant

I finally got a call back from a woman who works at the community college here in Globe. They've been advertising for an opening in the English department for the fall semester and I decided to bite the bullet actually call them. Mostly just to see what the qualifications are in order to teach at a community college. Sadly, it's easier to get into than public schools. Or so I think. The woman I talked to yesterday said that with my Bachelor's and some experience I should come in for an interview on Monday. Holy cow. I agreed to come in, but I left my enormous belly out of the conversation. They can't not consider me due to this little condition, so it's not strictly necessary that I begin and end each sentence with "I'm pregnant."

We'll see how it goes. If nothing else, at least I tried.

I Deal With The Crazy

I took a phone call at work today that could have hurt my feelings but instead made for a twisted sort of amusement. We've been having a lot of problems with companies making ad changes that never get to print and we end up printing the wrong ad and subsequently comping the cost of the ad to make them happy that we fucked up. To offset this, the editor made a decision last week that all ad changes must be in writing from the customer. This isn't hard to do, since we gladly take a short email or fax with a short little change line in it from them. It shouldn't be a problem. Who doesn't have email?

Since this policy has been in place, I've come across two people who seem to think this rule is absolute nonsense and they don't care if it is policy, they want me to work around it and make their changes without putting any effort into it on their part besides the phone call. Who knew people would be so willing to actually pick up a phone to speak to a person when email is so much easier. I got to talk to one of these fools today.

He just wanted two little words added to his ad. Sure, no problem. We can do that. I just need a email or fax along with this to confirm that this change is authorized by you before I can submit that. I couldn't find his paperwork, but I did see the ad in the paper. He didn't have the paper, but was looking at his ad online. But once I asked for him to send in something to me, he lost his shit. He couldn't believe that I would be so stuck on policy to not give in to him and just make the change. He was all over the country, had ten guys out there working on houses, and he couldn't make it up to Globe to make the changes. I told him he didn't need to come to Globe, he could just send me an email. However, he's apparently computer illiterate. Never mind the fact that he was LOOKING AT HIS AD ONLINE. Oops. Of course, I wouldn't call him out on that. But it certainly strengthened my resolve not to allow him to bully me. I don't operate under the motto "the customer is always right" because I believe that being a decent human being trumps any money they are going to throw my way. Man on the phone continues to rant that he doesn't have time, and what do I want? His credit cards? Personal references? Driver's license? I'm pretty sur the straw that broke the camel's back was when I simply said "I just need an email stating your changes" because he screamed like a little girl and hung up on me. Booyah.

Turns out, he only paid for his ad to run two weeks. It didn't run this week. And unless he makes some pretty drastic attitude adjustment, he won't be running his ad via me again.

In reality, I'd like to thank my father for all those conversations where he'd get irrational and angry. Because without those, I'd never had learned how to stay calm in the face of emotional, unstable people. Because that's what they hate the most. I'll be damned before I allow someone to berate me into submission with angry words. Luckily, I have a boss who backed my decision.

Holy Cow! Sorta.

I went to my last two week appointment today. I technically don't go for another two weeks, August 6th, but after that I am going to be checking in weekly. At my last appointment, the Dr. told me that they wouldn't begin checking my cervix until August but the Dr. I saw today has a different policy and she starts checking in between 34 and 36 weeks. She donned the gloves and announced that I was definitely closed, but softening. I suppose that doesn't mean much because I'm not due till the end of August and it's not the end of July yet, so obviously I am not really that close. But it sure feels that way. Weeks are just flying by.

OH THIS: I asked her if they do any estimate of the baby's size and she said there isn't a foul-proof way but she can give an estimate. And her estimate? SIX POUNDS.

Holy mother of God. 6 pounds. And I have 5 weeks left? That better not translate into an eleven pound baby because NO WAY.

Good thing that whole weight thing is just an estimate. Or so I hope.

Some Serious Chatter

I haven't been very good at this lately. I know it stems from all the stress I'm carrying around due to our financial situation for the next few months. Quite frankly, I'm terrified. I can hardly think about anything else. I subtract numbers in my sleep, counting out bills we have to pay, figuring out how long my savings can last. Cobra through September? Can I invest in cloth diapers? How can I afford nursing clothes? How?

I let CS buy a motorcycle this weekend. Compared to what I just said up there, I'm sure you're thinking "that's stupid." But in reality, it's going to save us money. He can drive it to and from work and pay for it in a month on what he'd spend in diesel for the truck. It seems to run well and even if it only works till October, it will have saved us money. He also figured out that my car needs a new fuel pump and the cost of that is over three hundred so why not just let my car sit and I'll drive the truck to and from work.

*How terrible is it that I had all new fuel lines and whatnot put in my car last year when they told me I had a bad batch of gas and needed everything replaced? How is that not under a warranty?*

I feel terrible to stress about all this when I should be enjoying my last weeks as the pregnant lady, something I've wanted to be since I was a little girl. I am so ready to have a little baby, I can't wait for this child to come out and finally meet "it". I love going in to my baby room and looking at the blankets and sleepers and the adorable crib. I am excited.

But that time isn't now yet. I still have so much to do before this baby can be ready to come out and I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. I don't like having to look past the time after I have the baby and wonder how on earth we're going to make it without falling so deep in debt. I believe in miracles though. So I'll keep praying for one.

33 Weeks. Or Only 7 Weeks Left. Oh Mah Gawd.

Holy Cow! So this is actually in between 33 and 34 weeks. I count weeks out on Tuesdays, while my Doctors go with Fridays so I compromise and try to catch in the middle of those. Except I just remembered that today is Friday so it's technically 34 weeks. Which puts me at 6 weeks to go. Oh good lord.

I've discovered stretch marks on my lower stomach and I frequently tough my belly there and feel bad for my skin. I've never been sore there, my stomach pains are always in my upper belly. But I still feel bad for my poor stretched skin. It's broken!

Snakebites

We finally got the paperwork from Cobra this week. Since they give you a handy option of filling out the form online, I went off to peddle my savings away on premium coverage. Except I ran into problems. BIG ONES. Like, maybe the internet filing doesn't have the option of adding family coverage. Only coverage for CS. Umm, so who has been paying my medical bills? Luckily, I did not push the Enroll Now icon and I chose to call the 800 number instead. Where I found out that I can do nothing until CS calls in and gives me the authority and also that I am not actually on the policy they were given. I have CS call and ask WTF and he finds out that Ceridian will have to contact his old employer and find out if I was on the policy (YES, they BETTER), then LPR will have to send Ceridian an updated form with family benefits for us, THEN Ceridian will send us a letter to say that we can enroll. Of course, all this paperwork goes straight to CS's house in CO before it gets sent here. Causing even more delay. The man CS talked to said it would take about 3 weeks to get it all worked out. PEOPLE. I only have 6 weeks left of this whole "baby making" process before it's cooked and ready to come out. I still have to go register at the hospital and I'm sure not going to tell them "here's my insurance card. It's not going to do you any good right now because I'm waiting for fucking Cobra to get the paperwork" when I sign in. Thus, no signing in until I get the OK from Cobra that I am covered.

I'm actually decided not to worry about it. Just have faith that it's all going to be ok. I can't do it alone.

Russian Roulette

The other day, I went to the bank to make a deposit for work. I do this all the time. I ran into an woman who used to work at the paper, where she relayed a conversation between her and a young man who works for her paper. This man and I met through the Chamber Dinner we both went to for our papers. Apparently, he told her that I was "very cute" when they were discussing the dinner. Luckily, she told him I was also "very taken" which I'm sure he knew because of that whole baby belly I have going on. And because we talked about the baby and my BF. In any case, it was a nice compliment. Especially when my face is pimply, my stomach is huge and my ankles are starting to swell. "Very cute" is totally something I need to hear.

What I didn't need? FOR MY FUCKING CAR TO DIE when I got to the parking lot of the bank that day. Car was dead. Car tried very hard to start but couldn't. So I left the car there and got a ride back to work. CS and I went down to the bank later and somehow the car started again. I started it up twice more that night, but the next morning? CAR WAS DEAD. And car stayed dead until CS and my brother put in new spark plugs. Then it started up right after they put it all back together. I had my car one day last week, Friday I could start it up and go, go, go. But Saturday afternoon? DEAD. Still dead right now. I tried to start it this afternoon, hoping that it was just a fluke and I could get it started because obviously it's just fucking with me. CS has been reading some mechanics book in an effort to see what's wrong. I'm really hoping to get it started and drive it the hell down the hill to the car shop and get it checked out by someone with car tools and that computer program to run codes.

I'm terribly frustrated because I hate being without a car. Sure, I'm saving gas money. But I also have to rely on other people to get from point A to point B. WTF Car? I was so good to you.

Swelling

Things are swelling up around here and I'm not talking about my ankles. (Even though they are somewhat questionable, especially in the evening.) Out house is cooled with a swamp cooler. Those of you back East don't have these because you have wicked humidity. But out here, in dry desert land, we don't usually cool our houses with refrigerated air. We use a cooler that cools air by running water over pads of some sort (ours are a type of cardboard, but I've seen other with a sort of straw type pad) and blowing air through them to cool the air. It works well and you don't have to worry about a humidifier in the hot summer because you're constantly putting water into the air. This causes a few problems though, such as jelly beans gone soft due to moisture and sticky doors. Our kitchen door has become almost impossible to open and shut, not just because of the swamp cooler but it's Monsoon season in AZ. By this I mean it has rained once for an 8 hour span. Otherwise, no rain. But it's monsoon season. Watch out for falling rocks and flash floods.

Stretchy

This morning, while waiting for my shower to adjust, I happened to walk past the mirror. And I noticed that I have the stretch marks of pregnancy. It's so early! Or not. Almost 33 weeks and I just notice them? Seeing as how rapidly I have popped out the baby belly, I should be glad I didn't get them back at 25 weeks.

Lists

Things that have happened I've been putting off talking about:

1) CS left his job. That's the short version. There's a longer one, but it usually makes me cry so I won't go into all that. Basically, he was terribly unhappy there and he decided to leave. He's working for a different company now, as a foreman. It's the same pay except no one is giving him rent money each week and he has to drive down to the valley in his truck. He's been getting up at 2:30 AM every morning to get to work by 4 AM so he can be at the job site by 5 AM. I suspect a move to the valley will be happening sometime in September.

2) We have to pay Cobra now. Enough said.

3) I'm on the upswing of the emotional train wreck of pregnancy right now. It's been quite emotional around here, what with the change and the uncertainty, since I don't do well with those two things. I'm better right now.

4) My fingers and ankles are showing signs of swelling. I took one of my rings off the other day and I am now unable to put it back on. I could force it, but I don't really want to have them cut it off because I can't get it off. That would be horrible.

5) My car is not working. It started last Thursday, at the bank. I couldn't get it to start back up so I left it there and got a ride from a fired co-worker back to work. Then it started later that night and I got it home. It started again when I went to Safeway. But come Monday morning, car was dead. Not dead dead, I can still listen to the radio and hear the engine try to start up. But there is no driving. CS was working on it last night, he seems to think the spark plugs are the problem, and my brother agrees. However, I drive a GMC and they are tricky to fix on your own. I believe there was lots of cursing at one plug in particular that will not come loose. We'll try again tonight.

6) I have a baby room now. It has a crib with bedding and clothings and diaper genie. I'm almost ready to have a baby, besides the fact that I actually have to deliver it. That, I can put off for a while longer.

Baby Room 101

They are finally (FINALLY) putting the flooring down in the extra room. CS originally told me that we would not be making that room the baby room because it won't be carpet and it must be carpet. But then we hit summer time heat and he decided that a non-carpet room would be better than the pink carpet room (pink walls too) and we should make the little room into the baby room. Of course, now I will have office furniture in my extra room. But at least they have a queen sized bed.

Anyways, what this means is that I get to set up my crib tonight! I've had it for almost two weeks and it's just been sitting there, disassembled and taunting me with its sparkly whiteness. I don't have much clothing to hang in the closet, nor do I have any type of shelving to put all the extras I have so they will remain in bags on the floor of the closet. But I have some sheets and a quilt. No theme bedding yet, but at least it's something.

I think I always thought I'd be that woman who went all out on decorating and matchy-matchy for the baby room. But, I'm not. Not at all. Maybe if I lived closer to shopping civilization, I might be. But all that costs so much money. For a baby room? A baby that will not care in the least what the room was decorated like? Or whether or not the crib bedding matched the window treatments? I'm probably going to slap some postcards in cheap frames onto the walls and call it done.

Or maybe I'm just reluctant to empty my savings or go into debt to make sure that my baby room is over the top. Sure, I want it to be cute and functional. But I don't want to go into debt to make it that way. Plus, I'm going to have to buy a rug at IKEA and even though it's IKEA, those rugs are still a little bit of money. If I'm going to IKEA, then I'm going to be buying some dishes too. Because I desperately need some of my own and I love them!