Day 18

I've hit a wall in thinking of mindless drivel to post here. I blame it on my day, which was uneventful but pleasant. Oh, the baby learned to say "here kitty kitty!" It's more like "he ki ki" but we'll take it. The boy loves kitties. Won't touch them but really likes to follow them around.

Dinner tonight was awkward. No one talked and I have a sneaking suspicion it's because this parents know that CS slept in bed with me for a WHOLE HOUR last night. Until the baby woke up and there was no room for him. Or he had to go switch his laundry, something like that. It was a nice hour though. It's pretty sad when two people who have a baby together can't remember the last time they went to bed together, as a couple. Seriously, we cannot remember. And we don't get to blame it on a job or living in different zip codes. We blame it on God fearing Christians who think we're going to hell because we had sex outside of marriage. Luckily, I do not adhere to that kind of thinking or I imagine life would be pretty hard to live. Since I can never reach perfection, no matter how hard I try. It's NOT POSSIBLE. I am a dirty sinner. But since I believe in Jesus and I strive (and fail!) to be more like his example, I don't go to hell. I may have a little 'splaining to do when I get up to Heaven. And I know our life is not "God's Best" but we're trying. I'm not perfect and I know I can't be but I don't live my life fearing that every little sin I have is going to cast me down. I don't think that's my fate. But I'm saddened that CS's parents must live this way and I can't imagine growing up with the fear of hell and damnation always in the background. My dad could get a little freaky with the End Times and Rapture but I just learned to blow him off. We have a life to live and a purpose to serve. So I'll do my best and pray for forgiveness.

On the other hand, what if his parents found my blog! That should open a whole post up for me about censorship and why I FAIL at that and how I have no plans to change that. You come by this blog from Googling my name? Then it's no different from peaking at a diary or checking up on someone. Don't pry unless you can handle the consequences. I've learned this the hard way, believe you me.

I guess I did have something to say after all. I should probably stick to talking about what Jacob can say and how many times he farted before he went to sleep (4).

But in any case, it was really nice to fall asleep with CS next to me.