IOU

I owe you an explanation. Last week, a friend of mine told me to write her a story of what my life has been like since September. I believe she had good intentions in asking telling me to write her something. As I said before, I need deadlines. I need someone to be down my neck about what I'm working on. But I can't write the story she wants me to write. I think part of her request was to get me to see what I've done with my life. That by telling me to write about my life since the beginning of September, I will see the mistakes I've made. And that is no way to write a story.

Yes, someday I will tell this story, of my "time astray". And I am excited for that story because it's going to be something that I want to tell. But I don't want to tell it right now. I'm living it right now, and I cannot put it down into story form yet. I tried, and it reads like a journal and that's boring to me. I don't want my stories to turn into journal entries or even blog entries. I want it to mean something to me.

A few months ago, I dated someone and when I ended it he sent me an email telling me that he wondered how he would end up in one of my stories. And the truth is, I will never write about him. I will never tell that "story" because it's not a story. It's not interesting or life changing.

My life now is interesting. Not in the ways that my friends and family want it to be, but I am so fascinated with what is going on around me. It's not what you want for me, I'm sorry. And I can't write the story for you yet. I'm not lost, I'm just doing this my way.