Tuesday, May 26, 2009


This weekend, we had a gator visitor. I got up early on Sunday thanks to someone named JACOB and we went outside to feed Hunter because he is obnoxious until he is fed. Then he's obnoxious till he's walked, but that's another story. So I unlocked the door and we stepped outside and I looked out to the creek and immediately spotted the lizard sunning himself on the far side of the yard. I quickly shooed the dog back inside and went to tell CS. He got up and got the dog food then went out to take some photos but the gator slipped back in to the water when CS walked around the house. We thought he'd be gone, like the last one who swam by and slipped underwater. But I looked out the window before I got in the shower and he was back, this time on the bank closer to the house. Really close, actually, to where we tie Hunter up when we leave him outside. CS, baby, and I went out to try and take more photos but CS's spy moves didn't conceal him and the gator jumped back into the water when it spotted CS. We left the house after that, leaving Hunter inside so as not to entice the gator with a large snack. We didn't get back until almost evening, but when CS got out of the truck he saw the gator sitting in the same spot as before. He's not been back since but I no longer believe the landlady about how she only saw two alligators in the two years she lived here. I've only been here a month and I've seen TWO! She must not have ever been home, or she would have seen a lot more, I suspect. I think I prefer the turtles that take over the banks.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Jacob's First Visit To An Abortion Clinic

I took the baby to an abortion clinic. Not on purpose! I have been getting BC pills from Planned Parenthood and I needed to get my file transfered from Colorado to Alabama. They told me to come in and sign a waver that they'd fax over then I could go get my pills. So I drove to the PP in town and as I pulled up I noticed that there were two older women out in front and they were holding signs. One woman started talking to me from the curb as I got Jacob out but I didn't really pay attention. Obviously, I wasn't there for an abortion or I wouldn't be holding a fat baby. So I walked up to the door, where a sign said "No bags or purses" but there wasn't a "NO BABIES" sign so I walked in. And the lady behind the glass started telling me that I can't bring a baby inside. There was a pregnant girl in the corner! So unless she was getting a really, really late term abortion (do they allow those?) then I feel like she had a baby too. So we left because I was not going to go put Jacob in his carseat in the truck and leave him to go fill out a form. And the crazies outside gave me information on "Natural Family Planning" and how it will save my marriage and allow me to have babies in God's time. Since I'm not married, I guess God probably doesn't want me to have any more babies. And I intend on taking a pill to keep that from happening because you can't do natural planning when you are breastfeeding. It doesn't work that way!

So I understand why they don't want babies in abortion clinics because the women getting them might feel terrible guilt over ending a baby's life. Although part of me thinks that if you can't look at a baby while you are waiting to get an abortion, DO NOT GET ONE. Because you will see babies for the rest of your life. And why do I have to go out of my way to make sure these women don't see babies? Planned Parenthood should have two doors, for those coming with non-abortion related issues. It's not like I have babysitting options. Can they mail my pills? How'd about some condoms and some Plan B?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Things My Child Has Done And Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack

Today, while I was cleaning the bathroom, I heard Jacob start to cough and gasp a little bit. I turned around and he looked like he was just coughing but I stuck my finger in his mouth and guess what I found? The little caps that go on the screws at the base of the toilet that are always popping off when you wipe it down. Yes! And yes, it is a perfect size for a baby's mouth. I don't think he could swallow it but I don't think babies know how to breathe out of their noses in a panic. Jacob didn't even flinch, just went back to playing while I went back to wiping the counter like nothing happened. Except my hands started to shake so badly I almost knocked my make-up brushes off the counter. I think I got so scared because CS is off working and I am carless and thus feel a tad bit helpless.

Also, today, I was loading the dishwasher and noticed that the little trap that holds the detergent wasn't empty so I closed the lid and pulled the tray out to load. Except my little helper saw that the trap wasn't closed all the way and he pushed the tray back and started to play in the detergent. I washed his hands off when I found him in it, and I'm pretty sure he didn't eat any (as he didn't have any around his mouth and he's fine hours later) but it was not a good day, mama wise.

One more bad mama moment: Last week, he woke up early from a nap and went back to sleep. I laid him in bed with me and ended up taking a nap too. But then I woke up and did a few things in the room while he slept because I didn't want him to fall off the bed. But then I walked into the living room and sat down at the computer and two minutes later I heard him cry through the monitor. So I run back to the room and find him on his back, on the floor. YES, MY BABY FELL OFF THE BED. He was fine though, and cried less about that than he does when he bonks his head on the concrete floor in the living room.

I liked this job better when he wasn't mobile. At least pain was usually something I could control. Now he's all on his own and he's pretty independent. And reckless.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

One Is The Loneliest Number

I don't really like weekends anymore. Every Saturday and Sunday morning, when Jacob wakes up and gives me his sleepy grin, I think about how there will be no one to bring him to and we can laugh over his crazy bed climbing before getting up and making cappuccinos. There is no one to go for a walk with or make pancakes for me. I thought I was lonely in Colorado. It's worse now.

CS and I are living different lives. He sleeps till afternoon and goes to bed around 3 or 4 AM. I get up with Jacob and I go to bed shortly after he does. I still sleep alone, or with the baby. Everyday should be like a weekend, but there is no joy here. Jacob won't play with CS unless he takes him out of the room and away from me. Otherwise, he crawls over to me. I suspect he would do this to CS's parents as he always shot me looks of "I need you to play with me" whenever his mom took him from me. But now he can crawl so he goes where he pleases. But it doesn't help that CS is not around for most of the day. How can Jacob know him if he's not around? He loved my mom and didn't fight to get away from her. She could put him to sleep for me. But she was gone a lot when we were there. I think he associates her as a parent, and he doesn't see CS as one. It makes sense, my mom and I are very alike in our play with him. It doesn't help that CS had to leave for over two months.

It's hard being here and knowing what I am missing at home. I've looked into playgroups but I'm afraid to take the truck because CS might decide to get up and go look for a job. Our neighbor's are all older, so there aren't kids running around. The library here is so tiny, they don't have story time. Things might feel differently if I had my car here, I suppose. But we can't pay to get that out until we can pay the bills.

I hate knowing my mom is going to go get JBelle when I can't even convince CS to get out of bed and go look at garage sales for fun. I thought I was coming here to get away from the loneliness. I didn't know it was here, waiting for me all along.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Then I Called The Police

This afternoon I got up from the living room floor and walked to the kitchen sink to refill my water bottle. Above the sink is a window with a lovely view of the garage of the house next door. When I walked up to the sink, I looked out the window and noticed a man walking up the drive and this startled me because the house is empty. I don't think he saw me because I didn't have the lights in the kitchen on and he continued to walk up the drive and through the wrought iron gate to the back patio. I couldn't see what he did from there so I walked to my backyard and cracked the door to see and I saw him coming back toward the gate and he walked back down the drive and across the yard. I watched him walk down the street and go up a little hill into my neighbor's backyard and he didn't come back. I told Chris about it and said that maybe we should call the cops. He took a walk around the block but didn't see him so I called the police after he got back. After they got here, the same man walked out the front door of the house he went to and came down to talk to the cops. Where apparently he told them that he hadn't left the house all day. Obviously, this is a lie. But the cop told CS that he has quite a few screws lose and obviously he knew that someone reported him because why else would he come down the street to say that he hadn't left? I'm still a little skeeved out because I though an older man lived at the house and I watch too many Criminal Minds so I'm paranoid that he's an "unsub" and he's taken a nice older couple hostage and then I went and called the cops on him. Most likely, he's the handicapped son of an older couple and they didn't even know he left the house for a walk. But it's still a little unsettling to see a suspicious man walking around empty houses. Especially when I'm just a woman with a baby and no car but a very scary looking Lab.

Also, while this was happening, a man in a Direct TV van pulled in the the driveway of the empty house and sat there for a bit. He was there yesterday, and asked me at one point if i knew what street it was on. For a small point in time, I was convinced that crazy dude and Direct TV dude are thieves and they are breaking into empty houses. But when Direct TV guy pulled into the drive with his van and the cops walked over to talk to him, then pointed out that his tags were expired, I changed my theory. Unless he is a stupid criminal, no one is going to pull up next to cops and park their vehicle. I mean, he's an idiot anyway but I don't think he's out for looting.

So now I have a kind of weird neighbor and gators in my yard. Thank goodness I have a scary looking dog.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

An Update

Here's a peek at my days:

Between 7:30 and 8:30: Baby wakes up and sits up in bed next to me. He then reaches for my pack of BC pills because he likes the rattle it makes. Then he tries to crawl off the bed. (He has fallen off the bed once, but only because I let him sleep on my bed when he woke up from a nap too soon and fell back asleep in my arms and I laid down with him but woke up before he did and I left the room like a DUMMY.) (That was a really long and incorrect sentence.)

8:30- We take Hunter and go for a walk around a loop in the neighborhood. I'm trying to lose the baby belly pudge.

9:00- I make and eat breakfast while Jacob either plays with a cap from a bottle on the kitchen floor or eats a rice cake in his chair, next to me.

9:30- We play on the floor, or watch Youtubed Sesame Streets before he goes down for a nap. Just depends on when he woke up.

10:00- While baby naps, I read the Internet then shower. It's nice to be able to shower without waking the baby because he's in the same room. Nor do I have to gather all my things and take a shower in a room on the other side of the house. I like him having his own room.

11:00- When he wakes up, he gets dressed for the day. It's so hot here that I've been putting him in onsies at night and he wears one-piece outfits during the day because they are CUTE. We play, I make lunch because I'm starving before noon.

12:00- Lunch time over, we sit in the living room and I read a bit while he climbs over me. We haven't gotten cable yet so we only have one channel, CBS, and they play a lot of soaps. I generally ignore them but it's nice to have background noise. Unless I want to watch a fuzzy ABC program. At least I can get Ellen in the afternoon, even if she looks a little funny.

1:00-Baby love is ready for a nap about now and this leaves me free to check the Internet again. Jacob thinks he should be allowed to touch the laptop and is very upset when he can't so it's usually put up while he's awake. I'm going to need a safer place to put it soon. Like an office with a locked door.

1:10- Once Jacob is sleeping, I can do all sorts of things. Like sweep the floor, make bread, bake cookies, talk on the phone outside. Or just read the Internet or a book. Maybe nap.

2:00 or 3:00- Jacob wakes up and by this time CS is awake and out of bed so he goes to get him from the crib. And Jacob cries until CS gives him to me.

3:00- I try to get out of the house once a day, today we went to Wal-mart. Yesterday we applied for food stamps. SO EXCITING.

4:00 to 6:00- Dinner planning and cooking. I'm getting terribly bored of the things I cook but CS isn't as easy to cook for as my mom is. Jacob, however, likes what I make for him and I'm all into my Cooking for baby cookbook.

6:00 to 8:00- Baby wrangling time. He usually goes to sleep around 8:30 but there are periods of fussiness so mostly I'm trying to keep baby happy. Like last night, I fed him grapes.

8:30- BEDTIME FOR BABIES. Followed by zone out time for Mama. If she had any money, she'd be drinking wine as soon as she put the baby in bed.

10:30- Bedtime for Mama.

(This is really lame. I know. But there is no good news to report and if I detail the bad news it's not going to help me. Just depress me further.)

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Peaches, Squash, Yams! Oh My!

Things Jacob will eat: Sweet potatoes, squash, carrots, green beans, peas, pickles, prunes, peaches, pears, bananas, apples, Teddy Grahams, Ice cream sandwiches, fudgesicles, turkey, spaghetti, Ritz crackers.

I'm working on making my own baby food for him. So far I tried peas and green beans but I'm not getting it smooth enough for his tastes. I thought I bought a steamer basket but I think I just bought a colander so I need to pick a real one up this week. I found butternut and acorn squash at Target, of all places, and I have a sweet potato to cook along with them. I have carrots, pears, and peaches to cook down, too! I have ice cube trays ready to go! I just need to get around to cooking it. It helps that I will be out of baby food in jars today so I really have to get on it. ASAP.

Jacob is doing better with sleeping in his crib, last night he slept from 8:30 to 3 AM and then from 3 to 7. Where he woke up for good but it's ok. He went down for a nap a little later which means that I get to shower before 10 AM. I didn't get to go on a walk, but we'll do that later. Although the humidity might kill me dead. I need to get my hair cut SOON or I will always look like a cavewoman because my hair is just TOO big and TOO frizzy. It's terribly gross to me. I have nice hair, and it's just being ruined unless I dump a cup of gel into it in the morning. I refuse to do that because it's expensive. And I'm a snob who refuses to use Suave.

Here's a photo of Jacob and Jayden the last weekend before we left. I put him next to her as she was watching Charlie and Lola, and when I walked back into the room from getting my camera, he was reaching a hand out to touch her face while she tried to swat him off. But she did share when I told her to. And I have evidence of it!

Friday, May 01, 2009

Thoughts On Living In The South

I saw a Confederate flag flying over a house down the street from me on my walk this morning. I'm hoping we never meet.

Every time I walk around the edge of the water in the backyard, I see a hungry alligator lunging out and snapping at my baby scenarios. Freaks me out!

There are black and orange grasshopper type bugs.

Lizards live in the South. Who knew?

Dirt roads in CO are better than paved roads here.

I live on Baratara, which is pronounced Bear-a-ter-ah and not bear-a tara.

I baked Smitten Kitchen's chocolate chip sour cream cake and either it was undercooked or I am going to have to adjust to cooking at a low altitude.

There are no Kroger's here. Or Whole Foods. I guess Winn-Dixie and Fresh Market will have to do.

Hunter was attacked by bugs and had hard, crusty bites around his eyes and on his snout.

I have been attacked by bugs and I have itchy spots on my legs and back. I blame the fact that our doors don't have seals on the bottom so all kids of creatures could get in. Hope it never floods!

Alabama has taken the swine flu news seriously and shut down schools. I think they are being idiots.

However, they have Blue Bell ice cream and so I forgive them for over-reacting. I'll probably home school Jacob anyways so who cares about school! Kidding. Mostly.