Saturday, May 31, 2008

Baby Says


Kind of looks like a cute little skeleton cartoon baby.


I want a bike. Except, I don't know what kind of bike I want. I don't really have a lot of options here in small town Globe. I have Walmart. That might be all. I don't really want to wait till I go to Mesa to get a bike. Because next time I go to Mesa, I have a Dr. appointment and the next day I leave for CO. Not much time to appreciate the bike. Yet, I am loathe to buy a bike from Walmart. Who knows if it will even last long enough to get me down the hill and back! Cs doubts that I'll even be able to get up the hills, something about me and belly and steep hills. Apparently, I'm not strong enough. (Actually, I might not be, but um, we'll climb that mountain when we try to go up it the first time.)

What shall I do?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Maybe You Aren't Stalkers?

Here's a picture of 25 weeks. I haven't taken 26 weeks yet, plus it takes a long time to load. I still hate iPhoto. I wonder if I can snatch up some program at work to put on here for photo editing. I know I saw books about CS3 just lying around in someone's cart so there must be discs somewhere!

Anyways, maybe some of you don't follow my belly postings on Facebook or MySpace, so this is for you.

Also, you can see the dog! The very tired dog who played fetch at the lake two days in a row and would really like to go to bed now. Maybe you could rub some balm into his paws, too. They are a little sore from the gravel. And check him for ticks!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


A week ago, I had it in my head that six months equals end of the second trimester and right into the third. This is not how it goes. I don't know what got me thinking that 25 weeks means the 2nd part is over, but I was certainly convinced. Until last night, when I was reading my week by week book and they kept saying how close to the end of the 2nd trimester we were. "No, dummies, we are IN it," I said to myself. But they kept repeating it, so I had to look it up in my other books (all four of them) and they all said the same thing. The 2nd trimester isn't over until 28 weeks. Hmm. BUMMER.

I walked out to the living room in disappointment. I told CS that I wasn't even there yet, and he just nodded. I'm not sure he could actually hear me, he was watching You Tube videos on my computer so I could watch my DVR shows on TV. And I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't actually make out his face. I, however, am a disappointed ball of baby belly. I honestly thought I was into the last leg of this. September seems so far away and I'm pretty much over all of this pregnancy business and I would like to go straight into Phase Baby. I'm not even miserable yet and I'm ready to be done. I think I romanticised being pregnant for so long that it could never possibly live up to my idea of what it would be like. I'm somewhat surprised by women who just loved being pregnant because why would they? Sure, I get to wear elastic banded pants, but they aren't actually that comfortable. No swim suits, no cute skirts. I don't allow myself to pig out on un-healthy food just because I'm "eating for two." I'm actually dreading my baby shower in a few weeks, to be quite honest. Yeah, I don't have to take the trash out but I can't pick up paper when it falls off my desk.

I know all of this makes me sound extremely ridiculous. There are hundreds of women out there on fertility treatments who would be so grateful to get pregnant without even trying. To have a pregnancy so uncomplicated and easy going. To be able to have children. I can't wait to have an actual baby to take home with me. It's just all the nitty gritty things in between not having a baby to having one. it's just not at all what I thought it would be. That's a little disappointing in itself.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Hoping That It Was A Leaf, Or Maybe An Odd Shaped Stick

One thing about living here in Globe is that there are a lot of rock walls. The area we live in is quite hilly, even our yard slopes steeply on one side and the yard itself is surrounded my a nice rock work wall. The driveway is closed off by such a wall, as well. In the wall are little circular holes, I assume for drainage in case a flood happens. This morning, CS and I were standing in the kitchen, with the door to the outside wide open. I wanted to know if we could just skip the whole boat thing for the day and just get to the damn lake already, it's like 10 AM. And as I'm trying to convince him to put the screwdriver down, I glance out the door and see something in the little hole in the wall. "Is that a tarantula?" I ask. "Shit, yeah it is. Go get your camera."

It's still there, days later. I'm convinced it's trying to break into the house, and anytime I leave the kitchen door open, I find myself rushing to the kitchen from another room to make sure he's still in his hidey hole and not trying to massacre my toes.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Maybe It's The Cookies

I made a batch of white chocolate oatmeal cookies. Maybe that's how I am gaining weight at a rapid rate. Nah, I only had two.

My doctor's appointment on Tuesday went well. I finally met one of the doctors, and despite the fact that she's the one who put me on restrictions because of my last ultrasound, I liked her. She's young, energetic and probably willing to answer all my questions if I'd just decide to ask them all. I have a whole list highlighted in my Mayo Clinic book about things I do and don't want to happen in labor but I was putting it off until I met the doctor and now I'm putting it off until labor is a little more on the horizon. I'm about 14 weeks away from that point. Maybe at 7, we can sit down and have an information-fest. The ultrasound was good, she showed us that my placenta had moved way up to attach at a safe spot. Squirrel's head was down toward my left hip and the little kicking feet were up by my ribs. Squirrel kept it's hands close to the face, all curled up. We saw the spine, but not the front side. She mostly kept the head in view, although we did see the umbilical cord. I suppose that's how she keeps us from "seeing" the sex. I wish she would have showed us something so that CS might have a little less arrogance about the fact that he "saw" it last time. Unless he happens to see it again. Then it's another two months of "it's a boy" all the time.

Work at the newspaper is going alright. Except for all the ridiculous phone calls I get. For example, yesterday afternoon, this exchange took place:

Me: Copper Country News, this is Jessica.
Grandma Lady: Hi, I have a question about something in your paper and maybe you can help me.
Me: Ok, I'll try.
Grandma Lady: You have a recipe in there for Watkin's pot pie, you know, and I was wondering...
Me: (oh fuck, I know where this is going)
Grandma Lady: and it calls for a crust that's more biscuit-like, which my daughter likes. But my son likes the other kind, and we were wondering if you knew if they could be switched...
Me: I'm sorry, I won't be able to help you. We don't try out the recipes before they are submitted. It's a Watkin's recipe, you need to call them.
Grandma Lady: Yes, I know we have one in town, do they sell it at the pharmacy on Broad?
Me: I don't know, you would need to call him. The number for the Watkins salesman is on the ad in the paper.

These kind of calls? HAPPEN ALL THE TIME. The other day I took a call from a mother who was trying to get her daughter a job with the roller skating rink that isn't even open yet and she wanted me to track down the number of the owner and give her a call back.

Hold up! You are calling me for your daughter? Shouldn't SHE be out there trying to track this number down? No? I don't think I'm wrong in this opinion. Do your own damn research. I just answer the phone.

I'm constantly shocked by the things that people think I should do for them since I work for the paper. I play the "I'm new here" card at least once a week. And I mean the I'm new to this area, not new at my job. I get my job, it's this town that still has me all turned around. Small town people are a little off sometimes.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

27 Pounds

Explain to me how I have gained 27 pounds in one trimester when I come home for lunch and eat a tomato with cottage cheese, a piece of flatbread and some hummus. It's not like I follow that with King sized Candy bars. Can I demand a re-weigh?

Rainy Blah Day

Yesterday, at the end of the day, a gloomy kind of cloud settled over us and it's still here. It's actually raining, right this second. Looks like it might last more than 15 seconds. That kind of rain makes me angry. All it does is make your car dusty.

Oh, nope. Rain is over.

I'm actually ok with this gloomy day, because Monday and Tuesday were utter misery because the cooler didn't work. It needed a new float and a new pump, which luckily, my handy man was coming to fix the floor in the baby's room so he just picked those up at the hardware store. They got those suckers installed and I am now able to cool myself during days of 103 degrees. Before my options were dousing myself with water, either from the hose in the backyard or the shower. Neither of these options are good in the long run.

We even bought a portable swamp cooler from the Home Depot. It was a good idea, in theory. But all it did was pump 7 gallons of water into the air in four hours so I just felt sticky and only cool when I sat directly in front of the fan. We're taking it back. I'm sure there are other, better options for personal cooling. Except I think they cost about $500 and I'm not sure I need to spend that much when I have an entire room to fill with baby things. And I want a pool. Those are only about $200, so it's a good deal. This way, I can strip down to a bathing suit in the comfort of my own backyard. Without having to expose my prego belly to anyone. Rock walls are such a blessing!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


This is my baby. Taken via ultrasound paper with my cell phone. I'm also sure that the ultrasound tech took all the good photos for my "file". Like they are doing anyone any good there.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

25 Things

CS is playing video games (a bad day at work means he comes home and shoots people in war games) and I am simply bored looking for Lord knows what on the internet. It's not like I need to buy more crap.

25 Things (On My Way To One Hundred)

1. I don't need a TV to entertain me in the evenings or during the day. We went two weeks without it and I only missed it on nights CS took the laptop and didn't pay attention to me.

2. However, take away my internet for a normal day? LOST.

3. I don't know if I could keep moving around like this if I didn't have Hunter. He's my constant companion and best buddy on all the long days when I'm waiting for CS to come home.

4. I don't like goat cheese. I keep trying because it seems appealing but it's the same nasty taste every time.

5. I raised pigs when I was younger for 4-H. Hampshires are my favorite breed.

6. I want to be really good at yoga.

7. I'm terrified of being entirely dependent on someone else to take care of me.

8. I love the Banana cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. I love it so much that occasionally I will order two kinds for myself so I don't miss out on having the Banana kind.

9. I used to wear a lot of shimmery blue eyeshadow and black mascara. I quit, cold turkey, in 2000. For years, I've only worn a light tan shadow and brown mascara, unless it was a special occasion or during the time I worked at the bar. I like wearing minimal makeup because I feel it represents my true looks. If you have to wear lots of makeup to feel pretty, something is wrong.

10. I've wanted to be pregnant since I was seven or so. I used to put pillows under my shirts to look pregnant.

11. Now that I'm pregnant, it's not as glamorous as I thought it would be. I love that I look good and feel good, but it's not as magical as I thought it would be.

12. I do love feeling the baby kick though, even if it feels like an angry Squirrel is in there.

13. I wish I could pull off short hair. But my hips are too big and my head is too small. It wasn't a good look for me.

14. I may not always like my job (any job, not specifically the one I have now) but I feel incredibly guilty when I leave for vacations or appointments.

15. I'm very proud that I can eat an entire meal of lo mein noodles with chopsticks. I'm not good with rice though.

16. Despite my claim that I don't need a lot of makeup, I'm developing quite a good collection of beauty products from Sephora.

17. I think I breathe best when I'm in a high altitude. Give me 10,000 feet above sea level any day.

18. I like to make sweet, decadent recipes but I'm still working on savory dishes. I'm reluctant to indulge in spices that I might not enjoy. I'd also like to make bread, but it's still daunting at this point.

19. I used to think I was born in the wrong century. I wanted to live in my historical novels, from the 15th century to the 18th century. Nowdays, I am thankful that I was born now. We have air conditioning and fleas aren't commonplace.

20. I have cute feet except my littlest toe. It's a tab bit awkward. Someone once described it as how fish look when they die and turn over in water.

21. I used to carry around chapstick at all times. Just today, I realized I only like Rosebud lip gloss and that my only tin of that sits beside the bed. I need more chapsticks!

22. I was adamant that I would never be a teacher. I consolidated my loans when I graduated, recklessly adding my Stafford to that list because I would NEVER teach. Hear that? No Way. I would now like my teaching certificate. However, I can firmly say I only want to teach high school. Elementary wears me out, and Middle School is a lot like prison.

23. I don't like to drink milk. It hurts me.

24. I love small town life, but I could easily leave it all behind for the options in a big city. Who needs to have everyone know your name when there is a Target down the street?

25. I'm surprisingly paranoid about certain things, such as: getting my hair cut, oil changes, buying tires. I'm afraid that these specialists in their field are going to do something damaging to my things if I don't have a good reason to trust them.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

For The Third Time

I had three people tell me they think I'm having twins yesterday. PEOPLE. I am not having twins. I have seen the ultrasounds. Even one in 4-D. There is no extra baby hopping around in there. I suspect there would be a lot more activity in my baby bump if I was having twins. I have only seen one heartbeat, heard only one heartbeat. I can still touch my toes. Only now are non-maternity shirts refusing to cover the bump. I even wore a normal shirt yesterday. Never mind the fact that I can't actually see my toes when I stand up normally. Or that I can no longer squeeze in between a chair and the filing cabinets at work. I don't have good balance on uneven surfaces (like a log I stood on at the lake) and I'm pretty sure I can't get up and down the concrete incline at the river without CS helping me. I also spill everything on my shirt. No longer does dropped food miss me by a millimeter and fall to the floor into Hunt's open jaws. I won't be able to wear any of my clothes at the end of the pregnancy because they will all be grease spattered and stained with random bits of food. I am officially in my SIXTH month and at the end of this week, I will be at the beginning of the end. Welcome to the third trimester. ACK. You know, the one that doesn't have a follow-up trimester. No, it has Post-Partum. Meaning I am three months away from actually having this child.

However, I have lots to do before that point. Like another ultrasound (or two?), the Glucose test, childbirth classes with CS, visiting the hospital, another baby shower in Colorado, setting up the baby room, picking a girl's name, and most importantly: remembering to do those stupid Kegel's over five times a day.

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Night The Phones Died

CS and I went out to the lake for some evening fishing earlier this week. We stopped at a gas station to meet one of the girls I work with and her boyfriend so they could follow us out to the Salt River spot. I had my phone on my lap, like I usually do, but when I got out of the truck it somehow slipped out to the ground. Like this is not bad enough, to drop a phone onto rough gravel, but then I managed to step on my phone. With all of my weight. Before thinking "huh, what fell out and what am I stepping on?" No. No, I did not do that. I just hopped out. And cracked my screen so badly that it wouldn't work anymore. I could still make calls but I couldn't see the face. It was just darkness. With a streak of cracked lightning up the middle. I almost cried. Here I am, only 5 months into my two year contract with no insurance policy and I destroy my phone. Do you know how expensive phones are when you have a contract? Or when you didn't put insurance on because they only give you fourteen days from signing to get insurance? You are fucked, my friend. Because even the cheapest phones are over one hundred dollars. There is no option for a customer who has a contract. They take this opportunity to screw you out of a lot of money. But I had a very nice Verizon rep on the phone who told me to (a) try Ebay or (b) get a phone from Walmart that is a Verizon pay as you go phone. I took a chance on a phone I found on Ebay. I won it, and got it today. So far, so good. It's an older Chocolate phone. Similar to the one I had before but not as high tech. I'm not in love with it. But I think it can get me through until I think of a better plan. I just can't believe that they want so much money for something they just give away when you sign a new contract. I can buy an ipod from Apple for cheaper than you can buy a cheap ass phone from a cell company. It's a conspiracy. I'm sure of it.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

No News

CS told me about some rumors flying around work last week. I've been doing fairly well with this information.

Apparently, there are some problems with the job here. The man in charge over the whole project has had little experience with construction and simply has the job because he's chummy with the head of the company. CS's crew and boss have worked together for a few years and they are known for getting the job done right in a short period of time. Their crew has made the company a lot of money building a new kind of power plant and this is the first time they have been sent to work on a copper mill. They've been having issues since they got here, waiting for supplies and equipment. The big boss man in charge has been getting frustrated because no one is reporting to him as he is clue-less. They've been going to CS's boss, who is below the big boss man. Big boss man, in turn, started hiring on new guys to work for him. Thus pushing out the crew brought to do the job. This makes CS's work buddies a little angry. So they are planning on picking up and moving on to Gillette, WY in July. They are building a new power plant there and the job is scheduled to begin in July.

Enter panicked, freaked out, pregnant Jess.

Fortunately, I have a very wonderful boyfriend who won't be making me leave when the crew does because July is pretty damn close to August and I am having a baby at the end of that month. Even if I were to agree to move so soon to my due date, chances are that the move would be put off for a few weeks and then it'd be labor time and I am not having a baby on the side of the road in between here and fucking Wyoming. Natural birth, sure. Side of the road? Not my thing. Not to mention the fact that we signed a lease, set up utilities and cable for six months, and I just got a job.

I'm still worried about the fact that CS might have to stay behind if his crew does move onto WY in July/August. It's hard to predict what could happen between now and then and it's quite possible that they will stay longer. We're kind of stuck here until October. I'm worried for CS to be working under someone who doesn't have a clue. I worry about what he is sacrificing to make my life easier. It doesn't help that I love it here, but also feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just hope it all works out for the best, for all three of us. Four, if you count the dog.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Put Your Feet Up

Relax and let the men do all the work around here for you. I know in about two years, I am going to hate the fact that we've allowed thousands of dollars to be wasted on renting houses or apartments. Between lost deposits and paying for services to be turned on, renting blows. That's why I agreed to the "live in an RV" plan. I hate throwing money away. But it does come with a few perks.

Right now, I have the realty handyman in the bathroom putting down the linoleum. And the cable guy just showed up to put holes in the walls because this house DOESN'T have cable. If only the guy who needs to put the carpet down in the other bedroom could show up, we'd have a full house. However, that would entail me pulling all the bins of clothing I don't wear, rubbermaids of dishes, and a few cardboard boxes of CS's "stuff." That's just not happening right now. I simply shut the door and all that mess goes away.

I don't know what it is about living here, but I've been feeling like it's the most comfortable place to be. I think it's because the walls are painted and they left rug around. The house has tons of windows, so there is always light. I spent about an hour cleaning this morning and I feel that is was enough to get it clean. Unlike the Hobbs apartment, which always took a good three hours to make a dent. I'm sure it was because of the lack of light, the stained white walls, the hideous carpet, and the stench of stale smoke. I could not get it clean. It needed a good gutting and lots of new paint to bring life back. Here, in this pretty little house, someone took the time to properly care for the place before allowing it to be rented. I'll be damned if I allow it to become trashed while I'm living here. Even if there is a decomposing skunk carcass stuck in the fence in the back yard and the damn red-leaf tree sprouts that threaten to take over. I'll do my best to fix the dent in the wall from Hunter's tooth smashing into it as he dove for a toy. I won't let pet hair take over the carpet. I just hope the next place we live has the same qualities as this house does. It's one thing to put up with a sketchy apartment when it's two adults and a dog. Add a baby, and everything changes.

Monday, May 05, 2008

His Baby After All

Tonight, after three attempts in thirty minutes on my part to get CS to see the baby kicking my stomach, he finally saw a flutter. Followed by a kick directly to his fingertips. Then he called it Cooter and I've decided to deny him custody.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Now Available At Your Local Market

I went down to Mesa today for yoga and a trip to Whole Foods, Target, and Petsmart. I tried to find an Old Navy but they were all hiding, probably someplace very obvious. My yoga class is right next door to a Sprout Market and I got there with thirty minutes to kill before class started. I needed a water bottle and I wanted to grab some trail mix to munch before class, so I went into Sprouts to wander a bit. I was in the packaged foods area, at the end of an aisle when I heard these little boys on the other side coming toward me and I heard one of them say "the girl over there is PREGNANT" before he popped around the corner and realized I was standing right there. His voice slowly died as they all make a quick turn around and ran away. I took a moment to re-arrange my face so he wouldn't see me laughing at him as I walked by. Later, in the bulk foods area, they went past me again and he pointed me out to his brother. I'm unaware of why little boys would be interested in a pregnant woman, but maybe they've never seen one. Although, I saw about five today so I don't know how you miss it!

Thursday, May 01, 2008


Things one can do when cable is not an option:

Play games. Card games. Wii games.
Read a book.
Look up baby names for little girls in polka dot dresses.
Play with the dog.
Cook something. Preferably something baked.
Work on crafty things (if the sewing machine wasn't broken).
Eat ice cream.
Watch baby kick around my stomach after ice cream.
Clean out office room.
Have long conversations about Big Serious Things.

Watch YouTube videos all evening long.
Go to sleep at 8 PM.

I guess I can cut him some slack. He did spend all of dinner talking to me and he went to the grocery store. Oh, and he works all day long in the wind and the heat. I however, am completely capable of an entire evening spend away from the TV. I can go weeks and weeks and still not miss it much. Or maybe men are just more addicted to the Boob Tube.