In all the drama that's been happening, I believe I forgot to update that I have weaned the baby. It started when my sister in law came to visit at the beginning of April. I nursed Jacob to sleep and when I laid him in the crib, his eyes popped open and he started crying. So I left him in the crib because I needed to help her get the pack and play set up and get my things from the room so she could go to bed. Jacob cried himself to sleep, something I wasn't sure he could actually do. It took about 30 minutes but he wasn't screaming, just sad. But I was at the end of my rope with his neediness toward me. I know he will learn to sleep without touching me, but I have to teach him how to put himself to sleep. He didn't last long in his crib that night, maybe till 1:30 AM but it was a good start.
The next day, I nursed him at naptime and when I felt like my breast was empty, I took him off and placed him in the crib. He only cried for twenty minutes and he was out. I decided then to not let him nurse again. At bedtime, after he repeatedly tried to lead me to the rocking chair and get to the boob himself, I placed him in the crib and closed the door. Then he proceeded to sleep until 7 AM, when I got him and took him back to bed for an hour or so.
I wish I was able to keep up with placing him in the crib at bedtime and naptime so he would learn to put himself to sleep but we've been staying with CS a lot and Jacob's crib is at my mom's house. Luckily, once he realized he would no longer get boob to sleep, he has settled into a routine where all he needs is to be held for a bit. He likes to watch lullabies with Dada before going downstairs to get into bed. Sometimes it only takes him minutes to fall asleep. Usually when daddy does it, as I seem to invoke a spirit of FUN TIMES.
Part of the reason it took me so long to decide to wean him was because I was afraid that he'd stop napping and I would get horribly engorged. I spent the first 6 months of nursing with hard, full breasts and I was not looking forward to a week of discomfort. Luckily, my right side didn't even notice. My left was a little more trouble, I actually let Jacob nurse off the hardness about four days after we quit. I had just showered and he started pointing to them and saying "boobs" and it was a little sore so I let him. Now they are empty and so small. I'm wearing my pre-pregnancy bras and when I lay back the cups are totally empty. It's a sad day for me. My clothes fit so differently, I never noticed how much of a rack I had until it's all gone.
But I hear they grow back, right?
The only thing that I'm trying to get him to stop doing is pushing his hands into my shirt when he's drowsy. He still likes to touch them to go to sleep. This will end soon, as he tries to lift my shirt up in his sleep. Like so many things in parenting, I'm learning that hindsight is 20/20 and I should have kicked the boob habit a long time ago!