Melancholia

I knew I would have trouble when I came back from Ohio. It's nothing new, honestly. I always struggle to regain a sense of happiness whenever I come back from Ohio. I thought it would be multiplied this trip, as I didn't have a chance to get sick of living out of my suitcase or just be ready for things to settle down.


Part of me wonders if this is a sign that I should be back there. If that sense of belonging is not just because I lived there for 4 years. Maybe I am meant to return. I love being in Colorado, close to family, but it doesn't always feel like home. I don't actually have many friends, at least it feels that way some days. I know it's hard with a baby, a job, a side job, a house to clean, time for myself. I don't always have time for friendships.

So maybe that's the hardest part of being back home. It's so effortless to be with people who have known me for almost 10 years. I've always been able to find a place, no matter where we moved, but I always feel like I've come home whenever I go back to visit the O-H-I-O.