It never fails that after I post a "woe is me" letter, I get smacked in the face with some reality. Like Sunday, when I went to church and the guest pastor spoke about grumbling less about how life sucks and doing more to suck the sweetness out of those bad times. Then to hit it ever harder, he talked about a woman in the hospital in a third world country, holding her injured daughter and praising God because He's never let her children go hungry for more than a day.
Having never gone hungry for more than a few hours, not to mention NEVER seeing my child hungry and unable to feed him, that's a little hard to ignore. I'm terribly blessed to be able to stay home with Jacob and not be starving in a swamp in Alabama. I had a place to sleep, even when I hate how things are. I have a place to bake cupcakes for my son's birthday, so I'm trying to ignore the fact that CS's mom goes in after me and re-arranges the dishes I put in the dishwasher. My mom bought me a new fleece lined hoodie so I can be warm on these almost fall mornings. Which, WTF, Colorado? Stop it with the FALL mornings. I want my summer back.
So I'm trying to be more positive. To think about the things I do have, instead of what I want. It's hard, at least once a day I want to walk out and never come back. But I try to remember that CS has a job, Jacob is healthy (even if I took him to get shots today and it made him sad, crabby, and weepy). Life isn't easy, but mine is honey.