Thursday, January 28, 2010

10 Reasons Why Not

1) Jacob is still in diapers. Am not changing two butts all the livelong day.

2) My stomach is still a wreck. It's not as bas as it was last year but it's still stretched out and marked up. I'm not sure why I think I need to have a pretty belly to just ruin it again, but I do.

3) I'm failing at weaning. The night before last, Jacob was sitting on my lap and he nodded off while we watched TV. Instead of letting him fall asleep that way, I turned him around to nurse because it would make my night more comfortable. Seriously. I hate rock boobs. And I still make enough milk to feed a newborn army. (But not a vampire newborn army!)

4) Lack of insurance and or money to live. We are in no position to take care of the baby we have, much less add to it. This really should be #1.

5) I got Mirana a week ago and it's pretty silly to get that and want another baby. I'm keeping this sucker for at least 2 years. Unless it makes me crazy, as I hear it's capable of doing.

6) I'm enjoying one baby. He deserves to have time to be a baby. Not a sibling or a big brother. Just my baby.

7) Pregnancy wasn't really fun the first time around. It was easy, physically. But emotionally, it was awful. I was a wreck and irrational and worried all the time. Not that things are easier now, I just cope with them better. If only I'd known how bad things would get back when Jacob was born. Our life was a lot less troublesome then.

8) I'm getting married before I have another baby. Enough said.

9) I've noticed that having an older child around Jacob makes things a lot easier. I'm always wishing for a five year old. And next time, I will have one.

10) I say all this knowing that there is never a "right" time to have a baby. But there is definitely a wrong time and we are in the midst of that. Of course, I can't control my mama urges when I see a beautiful newborn baby but when I wake up from a dream where I was pregnant and panic? Not time for another baby!

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