Saturday, August 02, 2008

Imagine This

For the last three years, a big part of my life revolved around a little red-headed princess. I didn't get to see her nearly as much as I would have liked and I was constantly thinking about her. She's been the image on my desktop. The image on my cell phone screen. Almost everyone of my contacts in my phone book have a picture that involves her. The only photo in my bedroom is one of her.

I don't think I've loved her like a mother loves a child. But I've loved her more fiercely that I've ever loved someone before. I was devastated when I decided to move away from CO to get out on my own and figure out my life. I felt like I was abandoning her when I should stick around to make sure she never felt excluded from her family. She still breaks my heart when I talk to her and she asks me to come over to Gramma's house.

Is it any surprise, then, that it makes me a little sad to know that in a few weeks I'll have a baby who is going to take over her place in my life. I know I'm going to love my baby endlessly. This baby will soon be the star on my desktop and the photos in my cell phone. I just don't want to feel like I love her any less.

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