Wednesday, February 28, 2007

An Open Letter To The 19 Year Old Dating My Ex-Boyfriend

Hi. We haven't met. And probably never will. But I know just what you're going through. You're probably elated because you're dating BB. You're gushing to everyone about him because it's all exciting and new, there are parties to go to, and people to meet. Hell, you're dating the Canon City Kid. Everyone loves him. He's fucking famous. And he takes you to dinner, and buys you drinks (good thing you got that fake ID, huh? Too bad someone told me about it and I had to have you kicked out last weekend. Sorry, but not really. I'm a pretty cool ex-girlfriend, but I'm not that cool!) He's hard to get a hold of, but he usually calls you back. He's just a busy man, honey. Really, he's not ignoring your calls. Oh, and baby? He calls you that, right? Dollface? My love? Of course he does. It's because he forgot your name. But it's ok. It's been a month, he probably knows it by now. Speaking of a month, you are probably calling him your boyfriend. Or at least everyone is telling you that's what he is. What with the sleepovers, the dates, the way he looks at you, the pet names. It certainly seems serious. It's not, I'm sorry. It's not that he doesn't admit to "hanging out" with you, because he will, under pressure. But any attempt to fix your name (Baby) to "my girlfriend" just won't happen. He just doesn't want to be taken off the table in this girl's eyes(this being whatever girl he's talking to at the bar that night). He's not really cheating on you, (oh he is. Trust me.) he's just keeping his options open. I'm sure he's mostly sleeping with you. And the sex? Well, there's not much to say about that now, is there?

I know I'm being a heinous bitch right now. But you're 19. And 19 year olds are gargantuan imbeciles. It's ok, my brother is 19 and I don't think too highly of him right now either. I'm not biased toward you, the new girl, I dislike all 19 year olds. If I saw you on the street, I'd be polite. I'm so sorry BB is doing this to you. You're not ready to handle the implications of a man like him. You need to find your self a nice, 20 year old boy. This way you aren't stuck at home, wondering who BB is taking home tonight (Not me, although he has). And maybe when that 20 year old boy breaks your heart, it will hurt a little less. Because you are playing with fire and I guarantee you will be the one who gets hurt. That man is hurt by very few things, and you do not know him well enough to know where to strike. I did and probably do love him (not in love with him, mind you) but we had a relationship for a long time and I will not allow myself to regret it because I fought for it. But I wish someone would have stood in front of me, when I first started dating him, and told me exactly what he is. No one did. They stood in front of me, and patted him on the back, called him a "fun guy", and asked him for new tires. No one showed me what notch I am on his bedpost. And that's what you are, honey. Just a notch on a bedpost.

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