Today, while I was sitting in L's car at the park, a very sleek squirrel came bounding toward us. We were in the car, but she came right up the the curb and sat there looking in the window. I had a few strawberries in my bag, so I started biting off pieces and throwing them to her. After she ignored the first bite, she picked up a second and gobbled it down. After that, she got even closer to the car and on a few occasions even reared up like she might jump in the window. This was terrifying to me because I do not want to ever have the feeling of squirrel paws on my head. L got out her camera and recorded the squirrel hopping all over the grass in front of us. And when she replayed the footage, I heard myself telling an unmistakable blonde story about how some people eat squirrels and, oh my god how gross is that. Like, who does that, seriously! (damn you Grey's for introducing 'seriously' into my vocab.)
I had to shudder at that statement because not only is my hair straight today, but then I start talking like I'm blonde. And what if I do that all the time! I'm pretty sure I might.
Also? My voice sounds like I have two very large beach balls lodged in my throat. Which is pretty close to the truth. I called the Dr. yesterday because I'm tired of having to clear my head every fifteen seconds so I can breathe for ten more seconds before doing it again. They scheduled me for surgery on the 23rd of April, which actually fits in quite nicely with my busy social schedule of May. And by social schedule, I mean working at the bar.