Should Be Napping

Jacob woke me up at seven this morning with his screechy little singing voice and his graspy little hands all over my face. I'm not ready for the transition from eight to seven and if that's how it's going to be then Mister Kister is going to bed before ten from now on. But I much prefer the singing in the morning over the wailing of a baby who wants to wake up but is too damn tired to open his eyelids.

*I'm watching the dogs dig in a hole in the backyard and I just realized they are digging in the same spot we buried a dog years ago. DAMN. Don't worry, mom. I told them to stop. And I will pick up the stuffed bear fluff today! Kthxbye.

Jacob's skin looks AMAZING today. His face looks like a cherub, it's so clear and creamy perfect. I haven't seen the rest of his little body yet but I'm sure that it's improving. Hopefully, I can quit the meds soon and go to Aphaphor once a day and keep this nasty eczema at bay. Once it's clear and it's past the 3rd of March, I can start him on some solids and I'm sure it will be a success. Since I tried with a taste of oatmeal today and he ate it! But then I remembered I made it with milk and babies can't have milk. FAIL (on two parts because I am not supposed to have dairy since I'm having a stuffy/drainy sinus issue today.)

The grand move to Mississippi is still in progress. It's not happening in the next two weeks because the ratio of bills to pay does not leave us with much left over. Unless CS works overtime which would be like manna from heaven. The past two weeks he's been sick so he didn't even get a full paycheck, much less overtime. Of course, before we come down there, he needs to find us a place to live. I've been told he's looking this week. He's been gone for over a month and it looks like we still have three weeks to go until he can get up here and that's if we get lucky. Our cards are maxed and the savings is shot and I refuse to pay things late because I'm difficult like that. If only we had our taxes filled by now!

*And I'm off to go yell at the dogs again...

Just Call Me Itchy!

Actually, the boy is now called Itchy. The dermatologist deemed that he has a nasty case of eczema and we are to start putting a strong hydrocortizone ointment on his body twice a day along with some anti-histamine at night time. I can't put the ointment on his face, under his arms, or in the diaper area but I can use an over the counter version for those spots. So, I guess the Bad Mom of the Month award goes to me for thinking that it's JUST FINE and it will just go away ON IT'S OWN. Because it was obviously not going to go away. I just need to get it under control then I can go back to putting on Aquaphor at night. I think the Aquaphor was doing a good job by itself but it didn't do much to take it away in the last four days so I hope this new routine works. I can't bath him everyday anymore which sucks because he LOVES bath time and I like a clean baby.

CS and I are also in the midst of a Cobra battle. Anyone surprised? I thought not. Cobra finally admitted to receiving a fax from us that would add Jacob to the policy and they told us that he would be added and it was taken care of. But I kept receiving letters from the hospitals saying that I would be sent to collections if I didn't pay so CS called again and found out that it was still pending. Then we got a letter saying we needed to pay $340.00 to get him added. Right, after we'd been told that we didn't have to pay anything to add him in the first thirty days. So he called again and they told him that he didn't owe any money and it should go through in the next few days. THEN, I had him call again to make sure it was taken care of and it wasn't, of course. We had to call twice to get ahold of a supervisor who told us that we owed money but that the date to pay had pasted and if we wanted to pay, he could extend the deadline. But we are arguing that no one, ever, NEVER, told us that we owed more. They told us he was covered for thirty days and we just needed to add him before that time. We finally got him to tell us that we can send a request to their compliance department to review the phone calls and see if we were told that we owe money and if they told us that we don't owe money then they will have to cover it. CS send the email off to compliance last week and they said they got an email but nothing was written in it (surprised? I thought not.) So he's writing out a letter and will certify mail it so they can't fucking LIE and say "we never got it." My god, is it really so hard for them to pay out on ONE CHILD when they get paid for hundreds of people's insurance who never use their coverage? Honestly. Insurance in the US is obviously fucked up and if CS ever wants to quit his job while I'm pregnant again, I'm not sure how I'll respond but ugly might be part of it.

Gaskess

I like my babies cross eyed.

I Pay For This Why?

I finally took Jacob to the doctor yesterday and she determined that his rash was: maybe eczema but she's not sure so I have to go to a dermatologist. GREAT. So for now it's just a lot of Aquaphor and waiting till Friday for the appointment. Because getting into a clinic is hard, they either aren't accepting new patients or they can't schedule you in for over a week or a month. They tried to put Jacob in on the 26th, but I told them I need in right away because the doctor said that if they get brown and crusty that can mean Staph infection and who the fuck says that to a new mom? (Is she really a doctor if her title is physician's assisstant?) Why are there never good doctors in small towns? Maybe I should take him to the holistic lady in town. We can rub a little oatmeal and olive oil on his skin and slather him down with some homemade lotion.

He's still darling, even with a plague of red skin bumps and patches all over his little body. We put the Aquaphor on before bed last night (this is a two person job, my mom holds him and I rub him down) and before he fell asleep, I rubbed some on his face and he got very calm and seemed soothed. I hate to see him scratch his head till he bleeds and rub behind his ear while he sleeps because it's irritating him. I also like to sleep alone and that's a lot harder to do when the rash is waking him at 2 AM.

Mornings are his difficult time, mostly because he doesn't know how to wake himself up so instead he sleep fusses until I wake him up. Some mornings he sleeps in till ten and others he's up at seven. I prefer the eight AM waking. It makes me feel like we are normal people with real schedules rather than lazy college kids.

Hello Pants!

I am wearing a pair of pants that I hardly fit into before I was pregnant. I find this shocking and completely wonderful news! They are still a little tight but not awful muffintop tight. At least, my mom didn't think so and CS said they looked good when I sent him a text. And we know that those two people would never lie to me. Well, CS might but my mom wouldn't.

I'm not sure how this weight loss has happened since I continue to make wonderful desserts and dinners on a weekly/daily basis and I have at least four different types of chocolate bars and ice cream cones in the freezer. I mean, I'm sure it's due to all the breastfeeding I do because I haven't gone on a walk in months. So while nearly half the mommy bloggers insist that they never lost a pound while nursing, I credit it as the best weight loss system EVER. Or maybe it's the fact that my baby boy weighs almost 20 pounds and I have to lug his little body around. Not to mention the car seat and diaper bag.

His rash is getting better, super slowly though because it's trying to freak me out. I'm fairly confident that it's just a contact rash because the only place on his body that's not affected is the places that his diaper covers. If it was fungal rash (which CS's mom thinks it might be and why I should go to the Dr.) then it stands to reason that it would cover ALL his body. No? But if it's simply the All detergent in his clothes then of course it wouldn't be on his bottom. I'm trying to go with my instinct here, but it's hard when there are other voices out there, trying to send me to a Dr. when I think that they will just send us home with nothing. I did at least call the doctor's office and talked to the nurse who told me that it was probably just a contact rash or a viral rash and to just watch it. I think it's getting better so I didn't call and make an appointment.

More depressing than the rash is the fact that I went to the coffee place and ordered a decaf chai for my mom and a white mocha for me and I FORGOT to ask for decaf. So I only drank half and I hope that it doesn't affect someone else's sleep schedule because that will really mess with mine. However, it was delicious with the almond biscotti I made my mom for Valentine's Day.

The Wind Blows

I forgot that living here in the winter time is horrible. Of course we do have our 70 degree days and the sun shines all the time but there is a relentless wind in our area. It drives me crazy. Maybe it would be different if we lived in a "real house" instead of a mobile home but it's terribly annoying. There is no reason to fix your hair on days like this. Or Monday, when the ceiling fans were shaking so hard I thought they might fall on me. Of course, I'm also going to go live in Mississippi, where they have HURRICANES. Smart.

My wrist has been acting like an 85 year old woman. It's only my left wrist and it seems to have some sort of inflammation that causes it to hurt me when I put any pressure on it. I can type, but I can't push myself off the floor. I can twist it but I can't push on it. This has been happening once in a while since I was about six months pregnant and I wonder if pregnancy carpal tunnel has followed me home. I don't think I will get pregnant again, it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be back when I was seven and putting towels under my shirt.

Jacob has his own little malady going on where he has a horrid rash all over his body. It started last Thursday or Friday and it slowly spread from just his torso to his arms, legs, and now one side of his face. He looks like a little Scarface. I called the doctor's office and spoke to a nurse who told me to see if it gets any better by Friday and if it doesn't then we'll be making a trip in. Supposedly babies can get viral rashes? Now that's it's moving all over his body, I am reluctant to say that the switch from Target brand baby detergent to All Baby detergent is the culprit. Especially since I washed everything in All Free and Clear when he broke out. It doesn't seem to bother him, he's not fussier or sleeping less. Just splotchy and looking like a leper. I'd like it to go away so I can stop worrying about it. How am I supposed to be a laid back mama if my baby comes up with weird skin issues. Oh, right. WINE!

And Now I'm Afraid Of The Dark

I got sucked into the Twilight series. I'm not sure how it happened, all I did was pick up her "adult" novel and after I finished that in 24 hours, I wandered into the library and the first Twilight book was just sitting on the cart. Waiting for me. I picked it up, read it and then all I've thought about for the last two weeks was Bella and Edward and vampires coming to get them. I'd dream about it, that's how badly I needed to know the end of the saga. Of course, I could have known sooner but the library didn't have enough copies of the last two so I had to put them on hold. Once I finally got them, I was at lunch with Jacob's great-grandma and she saw I was reading Eclipse and she told me she had all the books and I could just take them. Score! Too bad I didn't think to go have lunch there earlier. I was bidding for books on ebay and checking out Craigslist because the bookstore in town was out of copies!! Not that would actually buy them, I just needed to see if I could. And I couldn't so it drove me crazy! But now I've read them and I am sleeping vampire-less dreams again. At least I learned my lesson this time around and didn't jump on the bandwagon until all the books were written. Unlike Harry Potter.

Jacob is doing well, except for the awful spotty rash he has all over his torso. I assume that it's from a change in laundry detergent so I have re-washed his clothing. But my mom seems to think it could be a lingering effect of the Dtap immunization. I think two weeks is too long for a reaction to appear. His daddy is sensitive to everything, so it's most likely the detergent. However, it makes for a crabby sleeping baby and I had to share the bed with him last night instead of getting up every thirty minutes to soothe him lest he fuss himself in to a rage.

CS is finally working full time and overtime, maybe in a few weeks he will be able to find a place to live and we will get ourselves down to the beach! Although I am really not ready to smoosh my belly into a two piece swimsuit and lounge on the beach. Stretch marks are a buzz kill.

Monday Feels Like Sunday

My mom is off from the library today so it feels like the weekend is still here. While I don't have actually have much of a concept of days, it will be nice to have people around in four days rather than five. Since mostly, it's just Jacob and I making it through the day till we can do something in the evening. He's becoming more aware of being inside all day and so I'm making an effort to go outside and play during the day. As long as it's nice, this is easy. I discovered that he LOVES to swing with me. The park we went to didn't have a baby swing, so I just held onto him and he laughed without crying which I took as a good sign. We have a baby swing in the backyard but he's not strong enough to keep his body from slumping over and slamming his head into the ropes.

Yesterday marked the first time someone dropped him and I hope it's the only time. He wasn't really dropped, but he was jumping on the floor while someone held him up under his arms and he slipped out of his grip and fell onto his face. At first he just looked around and then shock got him and he started crying. Then hours later, the man that dropped him was talking to him and he started crying again. Obviously, he remembered and was not going to let him forget. I did remarkably well with it, I didn't even rush into scoop him up and freak out. I laughed. (That sounds bad. Someone dropped my baby and I laughed! Except he didn't drop him, he just sort of crumpled to the floor.) I wonder if that's a milestone in his baby book. I doubt it.

CS is finally working full time now. No more training, just going to work everyday and there is a lot of overtime to be had. So next week we will finally have some money! Yay! To pay bills with! Boo! And we can search out a place to live and by March, I suspect I will be living in Mississippi. I've always wanted to live in the South. And by the water, even better. And the Best Part of All? Jacob is going to have a Southern accent!

I found Kroger brand Nutella yesterday in the grocery store. Heaven! Except I don't really know what to do with it besides eat it on a spoon.

Jacob can almost sit up on his own. He just hasn't figured out how to keep his balance if he looks at anything besides his feet. He still does not know that they are, in fact, his feet.

CS is in Mississippi but mostly just sitting in his hotel room. They made him do a lot of waiting and training classes before they put him to work and start paying him.

Jacob has a lovely obsession with his exersaucer. He will jump and bounce and scream his little head off when he's in it. He thinks it's hilarious!

I made strawberry chiffon shortcake yesterday and I think I love whipped cream. The real stuff.

Jacob has no idea what to do with a Soothie pacifier. He thinks it's a teether.

Naps. Or Lack There Of.

Jacob is striking out to be a busy little boy during the day. He's always been a sleep fighter. From the time he was two weeks old, he's fight going to sleep, wailing unnaturally in the evenings. I think it was because he slept SO MUCH during the day that he got mad in the evening because he didn't want to sleep! He wanted to look around! Do things! Sleep is for babies! But yet he was just a little newborn and he needed to sleep. He's been a pretty regular boy since then, sleeping from 10 to 4 and waking to nurse but going right back to sleep before waking at 9. After that, he plays for an hour before taking an hour nap. Then he wakes and we play for two hours, then an hour nap. Repeat until bedtime.

But now! He is only happy sleeping on his side during the day. Naps are an hour, maybe more or less. He grumbles in his sleep when I put him down, fighting to let himself sleep deeper. He wants to sleep on my lap, with the boob in his mouth. I've put an end to sleeping on me, but then I go to CS's parents and Grandma lets him sleep on her. He's realized that there are other places to go besides the living room and he would like to see them, daily. Not nap, Mama.

However, I have vampire books to read! So we might be cutting out the multiple nap times and instead go with two two hour naps instead. And I'd also like him to put himself to sleep. Ok, Jacob? Thanks, love you, Mama.

Big Trouble, Mister.

Hunter and I tried to play this evening and he turned into ATTACK SPIDER DOG and ripped my pants and clawed my leg. Am still mad at him because it hurts like a mofo.

Jacob likes to pinch me when he's excited. This hurts, as well. I clipped his nails tonight in an attempt to decrease the amount of bleeding scratches on his head. Maybe it will help me.

My left index finger is in terrible pain. I got a paper cut a few days ago and instead of healing right up, it's decided to get infected under the skin and cause all sorts of trouble. Typing hurts, so does putting on a diaper, picking up objects, and touching just about everything. I plan on bandaging it with some medical goo.

It is no longer warm out, and I tried to dress for the warm weather today. It was 26 degrees when I got in the car this evening to come home. Thanks, Colorado. I just started to like you again.

I should be in bed but Bridget Jones is on and I can't help watching it.

Totally Beat Down By Karma

So I decided to take a bath while the boy slept this morning. I put him in bed and ran the water for a bath. I turned on the monitor just in case he woke up and started squalling, but as I settled myself into the bubbles I was thinking about how many mom's talk about how they don't get showers or time to brush their teeth. And here I was, in a bath, thinking that this mommy gig isn't so hard. You just have to time it right! Why can't they take time out and relax while the baby is sleeping? Cake, I tell you.

And then, (of course) over the monitor came the sound of a baby crying. And not just sleep noises, but "HEY, I am AWAKE NOW. Come and get me, I do not like being in bed." So I had to pull myself out of the water and put my bubble covered body into a robe and drip down the hall to attempt a pacifier and cuddle before placing him back down. But it didn't work. Those blue eyes were open and he planned on keeping it that way for a while.

So I dragged his ocean playmat into the bathroom and finished my bath. He wasn't screaming bloody murder while I shaved my legs, but he wasn't exactly happy about being in there. I would have brought him in with me, but I didn't grab the Vaseline when I came back in and he needs that for the cradle cap and I didn't feel like getting out again. Plus, he'd smell like Bath and Body Peony. Fine by me, but I'm sure his father would object.

Just A Day

I'm beginning to feel like I need a large break. And by large, I mean about three hours of alone time. No nursing, no rocking, no asking CS if he has a job. Of course, if I actually got this, I would spend my time thinking about how Jacob is doing. Nor could I actually do it since he nurses every two hours and if I left CS with Jacob alone, I suspect I could have thirty minutes of alone time before CS was calling me to tell me to come back because Jacob is cry. Since I can't even take a shower without CS having to sit on the bed and let Jacob watch me get my make up on and get dressed. I'm not tired, and I'm not sick of playing with him. I'm just a little worn out and I need some time to be by myself. I can't blame the weather, since it's been crazy nice here. I just haven't spend anytime outside. I blame the incessant wind, it's annoying and Jacob still won't breathe when it's windy so walks would just make him cry. I'm out of crafts to make, don't have money to go shopping, can't bake anything because we have enough sweets. I don't want to go sit in someone else's house and let them take the baby.

Huh, I totally need a nanny.

Wait, I've Been Here Before.

CS did not leave this morning. The office called him yesterday and told him that the man who runs the classes for the job training he must do before going to work had to leave fora personal, family emergency and CS didn't need to leave until they could reschedule the class.

Obviously, this is not what I want to hear. So now we're playing the waiting game until Monday to see if they have another place for training. Certainly, this cannot last much longer, can it? Haven't we gone through enough?

It's Your Lucky Day

It's hard to believe that CS is leaving tomorrow for Mississippi. Mostly because he never pre-packs, except for that one bag he packed over a week ago and has been causing me grief every day because it takes up valuable floor space in a teeny tiny room. I will be glad the bag is gone, but not the owner of the bag and it's content. Six weeks apart is a lot longer than a week. Of course, I won't be alone. Although my mom is going to be in school two nights a week and working late on night so I will have at least three days of Jess and Jacob: ALL DAY LONG AND INTO THE NIGHT. I'm thinking that maybe I should move in with CS's parents now because while my mom loves Jacob and helps me a lot, his mom would totally take over every aspect of childcare if I wanted her to.

Mississipete

So CS got a job in Mississippi. (Remember the rhyme? I've been saying it all day.) It's for a company that builds ships for the Navy and it pays well and it's not a temporary job. He's supposed to be there on Monday for training and I hope that it's for real. Not like the other company he talked to last week that told him he had a job but then disappeared on the details. But it seems to be a legitimate deal. We have rate of pay, name of the town he'd work in, dates for training, etc. I'm not sure how living in Mississippi will be, but it's on the gulf coast. Like on the BEACH. Obviously, since he's building boats. This means Jacob is going to grow up with a Southern accent. How gosh darn cute is that?

CS will be leaving this weekend but I will be staying behind with baby boy until he finds a place to live and we have money for said place to live. I'll probably fly out, rather than attempt a 22 hour drive with a five month old. I am not insane. Nor do I want to drive myself crazy. I'm not liking the logistics that moving will entail. Getting time off for a new company is hard, not to mention moving everything from CO to MS but it will work. It has to.

So I'll be around. Playing the single parent gig while CS lives like a bachelor, sleeping in the bed of his truck. Who'd of thought that this would be life.

The Falling White Stuff

It's snowing again. It snowed last week. And the week before that. I wanted to go to town and get some fresh fruit and stop by a friends to pick up some toys for Jacob but since the car has decided that 4 wheel drive is not necessary, I can't go anywhere besides the other room. I'm not going stir crazy, I just like to have something different to do each day that does not involve a couch or TV or computer. Snow days thwart me. I even allowed myself to put on sweatpants after the shower. However, the baby is not wearing socks, which is a gigantic FAIL. He's clean though!

Actually, I have a lot of people to call today. The cable company from Arizona because they claim I owe them money. the hearing test office who wants to know why I haven't paid them, ever. (Because Cobra just now got our fax about adding Jacob to the policy so now they have to process the claims.) The hospital who thinks that I need to pay them over five hundred dollars right now, which HAHAHAHA. NO. They even sent me a letter stating that I might be in the process of being sent to an outside collections company if I don't pay in full. Sure. Go ahead. I have no money and I have no income. Maybe you can just wait for the monthly payment.

Of course, if CS doesn't get a job this week, wait, TOMORROW, then who knows. Someday we will have money again. Just not anytime soon. Technically, he has a job. He talked to a man last week who told him that they needed him and he just had to get the details and CS would be off to Texas for a job that pays over twenty five an hour plus per diem. And we're still waiting on the details. I hate how they just let people hang, I've heard that they will eventually call with the details but I've yet to see it. So far, I've only seen CS waiting for a call. But no actual calls. I'm not allowed to comment on that though. Apparently, I'm pessimistic for thinking that way. I think I'm being realistic. If they don't tell you to come down right now, then they probably won't call you anytime soon to tell you that you have a job. So you might as well start looking for another one right away. Construction is bullshit.

Little Things

My new LL Bean water canister. And vest. And slippers.

Belated baby shower cards with checks in the mail.

A naked wriggly baby who can scoot himself on the floor.

Baby lotion on my hands.

A stack of thank you notes ready to be mailed out.

Little Things

A package from my grandma for my son.

Jacob learning how to jump.

New library books.

Hunter sleeping on a princess bed.

A glass of wine before crawling into a bed warmed by my rice warmer.

Stolen From Someone From Someone Else

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? I got pregnant and had a baby.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't think I made any last year. But this year I want to read the Bible daily. And keep in touch with friends and family better.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Myself! And a few other people I know.

4. Did anyone close to you die? CS's grandpa died in January, it was very sad for them.

5. What countries did you visit? Texas.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? I'd like to be financially secure again. It seems like we've been struggling with money forever now.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? January 2nd, when I found out I was pregnant. September 3rd, when Jacob was born.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I'm a really good mama.

9. What was your biggest failure? Losing all my savings. I don't actually consider that my failure though. I was busy becoming a mom.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Pregnancy is a condition, not a disease. No, once I got over the 1st trimester, I felt great.

11. What was the best thing you bought? A plane ticket to Ohio. I got to see my friends for the last time without a baby.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mom. She's been unwaveringly supportive of me and Jacob since we came back home, and even before that when I was having a really hard time accepting the fact that we had no money and no idea what we were going to do post-baby. I'm just very grateful.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I'm not exactly appalled, but some of CS's decisions have depressed me.

14. Where did most of your money go? Cobra. Rent. CS's truck payment. Trying to pay all the bills while CS is unemployed.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Once Jacob was born, I was really excited about it. Before, it just didn't seem real.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor. I sang it to Jacob a lot when we first moved back to CO and I thought it summed up our life at the time.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Being crafty. I made almost half of the gifts I gave for Christmas and I wish I'd done more knitting and sewing. I get better each time I try something again.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worry about money. It's turning out ok to be broke and I could have saved myself a few sleepless nights and a lot of jaw clenching.

20. How did you spend Christmas? At my mom's house in the morning and CS's grandma's in the afternoon.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yes.

22. What was your favorite TV program? I really like "The Fringe" even after I stopped watching the first episode because it freaked me out. Nothing that happens can be real, but it plays into your fantasy of "what if?"

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don't believe myself capable of hate. I can be annoyed or dislike someone. But hate is just too powerful.

24. What was the best book you read?Pete and Pickles. It's a children's book my mom got for JBelle, but it's the most powerful example of love I've seen in a long time. In the grown up sector, I liked A Thousand Splendid Suns.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I'm pretty disappointed with my musical tastes this year. I'm constantly dissatisfied.

26. What did you want and get? A Kitchen Aid Mixer.

27. What did you want and not get? An engagement ring.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I loved Wall-E.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 25 this year and we spent the day down in the valley. Eating sushi and Cheesecake Factory banana cheesecake and shopping for a good gift for myself rather than for the baby. We watched the Dark Knight and at midnight we got stranded in Mesa when my car died and my brother couldn't help us. We shouldn't have driven my car but we made it alright. I felt worse for Hunter. He was locked up for almost 24 hours during that time.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Knowing that CS had a job he loved that paid him well.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Maternity.

32. What kept you sane? My baby boy, my friends, and my mom.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Tina Fey. I was so amused by her Palin skits.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? I was very upset by Colorado trying to pass a "Life begins at conception" bill because I think it would have hurt more women than need be. As a woman, I didn't like the idea that I could die because it was illegal to terminate an eptopic pregnancy until an official ruled it ok.

35. Who did you miss?I miss my friends in Ohio. I've never gone so long without seeing them.

36. Who was the best new person you met? My son, hands down. I've never been more in love with someone and I am constantly amazed and amused by the little things he does. I thought I loved JBelle deeply, but this is just so much more.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. It's ok to sleep in till 9 AM with your new baby.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "I know you can do it."